all the pictures are gone.
all socials rid of you.
all screenshots.
all bitter feelings.
all feelings.
are gone.
and yet still, everyday it stings like it did that night.
the first time i read the words you wrote.
they shot like daggers into my chest.
the words burned on my eyelids.
all i am able to read at any given moment.
constantly in my mind.
as the anger builds up in my heart and my mind.
i wonder how you could claim to love me so, yet hurt me more.
i wonder if i'll ever think of you and feel okay.
if i'll ever hear the songs we used to listen to, and not cry.
but yet.
i still, miss you.
the good.
the laughing.
the happiness.
the feeing is so near to me now
yet it is different.
i can't imagine the things you've said about me.
the assumptions you made astounded even the woman who gave me life.
i wish only for you to know that i am not bad.
i am still me.
i am still a good person.
i did not lose any qualities.
i grew and i gained better ones.
nothing hurts more then the everyday realization that you do not know anything about my life anymore.
as things-
good things-
happen to me daily,
i reach for my phone to involve you in who i am and what i'm doing.
but you aren't there.
you aren't here to support me and smile with me.
and that,
is a pain that will take months to get used to.
i miss you.
and i wish i could go back.
i wish i could.
but my heart can't take the obvious changes that have happened to our relationship.
it would break her.
so instead i suffer,
everyday knowing that you do not know,
the things he does for me,
or the ways i spend my weekends.
but at least we are both free.
you, from the pain of me being gone,
and i, from the weight of your pain.
YOU ARE READING
day by day
PoetryIt's okay to not be okay. We are all one struggle away. Your change is gonna come. You just keep believing day by day. This storm will eventually run out of rain.
