Destiel One Shots

The Past Still Haunts Him..

WARNING IN THIS ONE SHOT THINGS LIKE..

-ABUSE

AND

-PANIC ATTACKS

ARE MENTIONED! READ WITH CAUTION OR SKIP THIS ONE SHOT

Dean sighed as he walked into the motel with Cas behind him, Sam had stayed in the hotel since on their last hunt he broke his leg. 

"Dean I apologize." Cas said as he walked in.

"I don't care if you apologize, we lost the vampires because you made us wait to long! Now we're going to have to start looking for them again!" Dean sat on one of the beds, sighing again as he sat down. 

"What's going on? Sam asked.

"Cas made sure we lost the vampires by trying to talk to me in the car for 20 minutes." Dean was obviously frustrated. 

"I apologized 48 times, Dean. Do i have to do it a 49th?" Cas asked.

"Maybe you do. Maybe 50 times, maybe 100!" Dean said standing up and walking up to Cas, looking down at him.

"I apologize!" Cas threw his hands in the air, causing Dean to flinch and quickly back away covering his face. Sam looked up right as it happened, he was a bit concerned for his older brother. 

"Dean?" Sam said his brothers name, causing him to bring his arms down and stand straight up.

"I..I'll be back, I need some fresh air.." Dean awkwardly walked out away from his friend and brother.

"Is he alright, Sam?" Cas asked.

"I don't know.." Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Why did he have that reaction? Did I do something wrong?" Cas was a bit worried that he upset his friend.

"No Cas, you didn't do anything wrong. Dean just.." Sam sighed. "He had it different and that follows him everywhere" 

"What do you mean? Didn't you two grow up as hunters together?" Cas continued to ask questions.

"We did, but as the older brother he had it harder..I'd asking him about it. I don't wanna talk about something he should tell you" Sam had a sincere look in his eyes.

"Okay, i'll go speak to him. Thank you, Sam" Cas walked out to go find his friend.

As Sam and Cas spoke, Dean was sitting outside by the pool, he had tears in his eyes as he sat on one of the pool chairs. He was mainly trying to calm down from his panic attack, he felt dizzy with all the thoughts spinning in his head. He held his head in his hands, his elbows were resting on his knees as terrible memories came flowing back. The memories of letting his father down and getting hit as his punishment, seeing the terror in his little brothers eyes as Dean fell to the ground with bruises all over him. 

"Dean? Dean!" Cas had been standing in front of Dean trying to get his attention for a few minutes now, Dean snapped back into reality with fear in his eyes. "Sorry- I didn't mean to yell I just couldn't get your attention.."

"I-its okay.. I-I just wasn't p-paying attention.." He stuttered, looking up at Cas. Cas sat down in front of Dean on one of the other pool chairs.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked, Dean didn't respond, he just took a shaky breath. Cas put a hand on Dean's hand to give some form of comfort.

"...My dad.. he used to hit me when I did something wrong.." He said quietly, a couple tears got loose and dripped down his cheeks. Cas put a hand on Dean's cheek, wiping away the tears. 

"I would never hurt you, Dean.. you know that right?" Cas asked, Dean nodded as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "Hey, don't cry.." Cas moved to sit next to Dean. "He's gone..and he won't ever hurt you again, alright? I'm here to protect you, okay?" Dean nodded, Cas carefully put a arm around him, Dean leaned against him, resting his head on Cas's shoulder. 

"I-i'm sorry" The tears he was struggling to keep in finally fell.

"Hey.. don't apologize for anything, you didn't do anything wrong" Cas said as he held Dean close. "Dean?" 

"Ye-yeah?" 

"I love you, Dean" 

"I love you too, Cas..Thank you for being here with me"