The secret of the rose

Part 3 Chapter 20

                                                                     Steven

My body is covered with chills. The last sentence that Jenny has just said scrolls slowly in my head. The images of this horrible night are jostling in my memory. A black road dripping with rain, the sustained noise of the horn of a car, the lights of it coming straight at us, the look of my friend when he woke up by surprise and the sound of slippery tires on the wet pavement. I start to shake as I remember the events that turned my life upside down. I am sure it is just a coincidence. It cannot be possible, I do not want to believe it, it cannot be Jenny's parents.

I say a prayer in silence so that it is simply a similarity. I get up from the swing and start pacing in front of it. I see that she is starting to panic. She looks at me with her eyes full of questions. I stop walking and get closer to the swing. Calmly, containing my composure, I ask her the question that has kept me quiet since she related the tragic event of her parents.

- My love, when and where exactly did they die?

I know I am going a bit too far for Jenny. These questions force her to dig deeper into her memories and can reopen wounds that are still fresh. But I need to know the truth, I must know it for myself and for her. The morning after the drama, I saw the news on television, where the journalist recounted the details of an automobile accident that had occurred the day before, killing the two occupants instantly. I could not hear the rest, but I know very well that my friend and I caused it. Being shocked by what had just happened, we fled. My friend Tristan made me promise to keep it a secret. A pact which was very hard to maintain, and which succeeded in rotting my life. Both of us, sixteen years old, successful students, we were promoted to a bright future. The fear of losing everything and ending up in prison prompted us to keep the truth to ourselves. But that secret destroyed my life forever and now I am about to destroy the one I love.

Jenny watches me intrigue. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and answers my questions, trying not to be overwhelmed by emotions. I know it is painful for her. I hate myself for inflicting this torture on her.

 - It was July 4, four years ago. But why do you want to know that? It's painful for me to talk about that night.

- I know my love, I'm sorry. I don't want you to suffer but I need to know. Please answer my questions. What was the name of the street where the accident happened?

- It happened on Oleander Road, very close to where we lived in Wilmington.

The truth hits me head on. I feel my legs crumpled under me, I lose my balance and find myself kneeling in front of her. My whole body tenses. She just confirmed what I always hoped never to hear, I killed the parents of the love of my life.

Why did I fall in love with the only person who can hate me with reason? The guilt that had started to dissipate thanks to Jenny's presence resurfaced violently. My heart twists in pain, I hold back a cry of despair. How am I going to tell her the truth? How am I going to explain to her what happened? She will hate me. I am upset. But out of love for her, I must do it. I do not want to keep this secret anymore especially since it concerns her now. I know that after my revelation nothing will ever be the same. I wish with all my soul that she can forgive me.

- Steven, what's going on? You're scaring me. Talk to me my love, said Jenny completely confused.

I look up with tears in my eyes and take her hands in mine. She gets up from the swing to stand with me. She scans my eyes to try to understand what is going on. I feel like she is studying my soul. I concentrate to calm my breathing before returning to my memories to reveal this secret that has eaten me away for years.