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tw mentions of hanmi's dead body, cursing, small injury, blood
🍯 ⌜ 작은 한이 ⌟ ┈─❟
With all the smiles and laughs she does and gets from her life, Hanmi never really felt happy. Even with Dan-I. Everything about her felt fake. She was like some plastic doll that was desperate to be controlled, to make her do something that might make her laugh in joy, not caring if she looked crazy or not.
The girl didn't know why she felt like that. She doesn't prioritize her own feelings, rather she would let people use her as some kind of tissue. A tissue for others to use, that's all she ever was and that's all she ever will be. Her own feelings? They're nothing more of insignificant.
(Or maybe she lets people do that to emotionally manipulate them if they every did anything wrong?)
She was a morally grey character. The bad things she do is what she thinks what's right. There's nothing wrong in protecting yourself, right? God, if it was wrong maybe they should have no rights after all! It was all hypocritical.
Loving someone like her was a losing game.
(If someone wants a toxic love then maybe she's the right choice to break them apart.)
It would be too troublesome to love. She wouldn't even believe someone would love such a manipulative person like her. Well, if you are too stupid or the first one to fall in love easily, she wouldn't mind playing a loveless little game. She was sick in the head. She knew that. Maybe it's because of the love she never received that much when she was a child or all the "adoration" she had recieved just because of her looks.
Dan-I was the only one who had loved her genuinely. And she knew that too. She was grateful and resentful for it. Her best friend deserved so much better than little ol' her.
Hanmi sadly knew that too.
***
Hanmi would always stare at the four walls of her empty home. Always zoning out, waiting for atleast one of her parents to come home. Hoping that maybe they suddenly remembered that they have a defenseless daughter in their own home.
But they never came. Not at all. The only time they were at home is when she was at school, being mentally tortured to the point she resorted to skip which they never found out. (She had to thank Dan-I for that. What would she do without her beloved best friend?)
She was used to it, used to doing everything alone. It had drove her crazy once that she resorted to place two of her stuff toys where she thinks her parents would sit while eating dinner with her. It was a sad sight but it had to be done for her own sake.
Maybe that's why she was called unique, crazy even! Hanmi would do anything just to feel sane yet numb at the same time.
Hanmi didn't blame anyone when they hadn't noticed the sickness in her head. Dan-I doesn't even know it too. She could win an oscar with her performances. To think she would potentially be an actress if she thought hard about it. She would be even richer!
