45. A Clear Mind

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Chapter 45 - A Clear Mind

"Mass Breakout from Azkaban," I repeated, who knew how many times I'd said it today. Somehow, though it had been ten hours since I'd heard the news, it still seemed I was in some kind of shock. But it felt like a whole new subject when I was saying it to my brother, who was finally meeting me at the stairs to the dungeons for our first Occlumency lesson. When he reached me, I flung the Newspaper into his chest - all as if he hadn't heard the news yet. "Ten Death Eaters."

"Voldemort's working fast," he muttered darkly, taking a look at the Prophet with a wince. "Dolohov, Rookwood, Mulciber, three Lestrange's..."

I shivered when he said the final surname - how couldn't I? That woman would torture Hermione and I. The worst part was I didn't know when, or why, or what happened after. Was that my final day, when she would torture me? Did I see my final breath, or listen to my own last coherent thought?

"We need to go," I explained with a gulp, moving so that we could get towards Snape faster. For some reason, I felt like as soon as we saw Snape and got this Occlumency thing under control, it would help. I knew he wouldn't save me from the fate that time had planned for me, but at least he could comfort me - mentor me - before I was doomed to it.

"Yes, wouldn't want to be late," Harry mumbled bitterly to himself as he matched my pace. I gritted my teeth against his reluctance.

"No, but with a mass breakout from Azkaban and having Tom-Bloody-Riddle successfully rallying his army, I suggest we become proactive about our safety. No?" I asked intensely, feeling even more annoyed with Harry scoffed.

"Snape is not proactive for my safety," he whispered to himself. He could be such a child. Still, I knew that in his own way he was right - Snape would be hard on him today. At the same time, Harry was wrong with the idea that Snape would be easy on me...he wouldn't be. That was how he taught me and that was how I liked it. It got the best results.

"Stop worrying - this will be fun," I assured Harry half-heartedly as we walked deeper down into the dungeons. "I already told you that I'll try to keep Snape off your back. And you know that he's only doing this so that we're safe. Snape knows what he's doing, or Dumbledore wouldn't have appointed him - so just listen to him and do as he says."

"Fun," Harry repeated darkly, already having forgotten all my other words of comfort. "Yes, I'm so sure."

"Cantated magic is all about focus," I informed him. "So you need to be able to forget that it's Snape who's teaching you. You need to put all that aside, just for the lesson."

"Because I'm so sure he'll do that," he muttered.

"I'm going to pretend that it's the snake in your head that's being so annoying," I told him haughtily, pointing my nose in the air. "Which means that we need to hurry to the dungeon so we can get him out, dolt."

Our first Occlumency lesson with Snape; I wasn't sure how to feel about today. Though Harry seemed to think it lacked something to be desired, I was excited. And terrified. I had not really had a lot of time to spend with Snape between my spying and my prefect duties and to be honest I had some things that required his no-bullshit answers. This could be some good bonding time...

However, now I had to work harder on what he was teaching me, if not for Harry's sake than for my own. Harry had a snake in his head, sure, but I had a lot of memories that I really didn't want Snape to see. You know - me kissing Malfoy, me spying on Umbridge, me having been there when Crouch croaked...

Little things like that.

Well, at least I knew Snape would be in a good mood - because he was about to get the opportunity to mentally kick the shite out of Harry.

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