Inez, living pain. she named herself silent for that is what she is. for silence makes her strong and knows her purpose of living in the life she was created. back in her youth, she was so bubbly and happy go lucky. she has her motto "YOLO G" you only live once gago. joking there and here. experiencing her youth days for it will only last for 5 years.
but, before her youth ends. her world turns upside down. she got lost and had a hard time coming back. when she was so close to ending the pain. another circumstance comes. she could make it yet she can't. she wanted to end her life Prologue: Sun's up. Sky is blue as sea. I looked up and smile. Maaliwalas na umaga. I raised my right hand as a thought of reaching the skies. Oh how I loved to see this scenery. I close my eyes and feel the hot and cold wind of morning as it blows chillin'.
"Inez" That voice. I open my eyes as the memories floods in my mind. A tear fell from eyes. I used to love to hear that voice.It's been a year since it happen. And I can't remember when was the last time I heard that voice calling my name. Like it was the most beautiful name in the world.
Yet, it's also gives me goosebumps and that makes me scared. I don't want to be lost again, not now. I still have a lots of things to do.
"Forgive me for I'll be leaving you and will walk to my journey that supposed be ours"
Wearing white t-shirt imprinted "maturity makes sense" along with my favorite black jeans. Tumalikod na ako ng Hindi ko na kinaya any tension sa paligid ko na mag-isa lang naman ako. Nagsimula akong malakad sa berdeneg damuhan, naglakad ako paalis sa lugar kung saan nagsimula ang lahat. True to what others said "it's hard to leave something you loved the most".
Pagkalabas ko ng field ng school ay bumungad saakin ang hindi ganoong tahimik na kapaligaran. Some of the noise are coming from the faculty office: sounds of printer-printing files, noises from the electric fan and Air Conditioning, and some of those are from the teachers whose having chats to their co-teacher.
Faculty office for junior high teacher is located near the entrance of school's field, and its facing the Charity building where junior high rooms are. Its kinda cool idea for the school to have a good view and to manage who's students are going out and in. But for like me, it's not. Medyo tarantado tayo eh. Paano ako makakalabas ng room namin without being conscious to those who's looking at me. Nakakaintriga kaya.
"Inez?" I turn around. Looking at my teacher. Daisy. That's her name what a lovely name.
"Inez! Ikaw nga! Glad to see you here" kapansin-pansin ang galak sa kaniya boses. Ngumiti ako bilang pagsabay sa kaniyang masayang emosyon.
Natawa ito ng bahagya bago magsalita. "ano ka bang bata tapos na ang pasokan maaari ka ng gumamit ng ibang lenguwahe. And beside wala tayo sa room. So huwag kang charot charot" natatawa akong sumang-ayon. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad palabas ng Charity building kasabay si maam daisy habang nag kukwentuhan.
"Tuloy na ba talaga ang pagtransfer mo? You know naman na mayroong related ng course mo dito for college?" she said while putting her left hand inside her jeans, paired with loose floral pink sleeves. Ang buhok niyang maikli na sumasabay sa hampas ng hangin.
"I want a new environment. And fresh starts"
"Sabagay, minsan kasi we need to be out of our comfort, for us to know how far we can do" tumango tango ako bilang pagsang-ayon. "I've changed my course po, I'm not planning to take med" nanlalaking matang napalinggon to saakin. Confuse. I am to.
When she asked why? "For a moment. I realized that med isn't for me" I replied.
"Funny isn't? you used to say you wanted to be a doctor since first year pero ngayon... I don't know what to say" tinawanan ko ang kaniyang sinabi. Yes I did. Since first year in high school I've been telling them, I'll be doctor. Look at myself now turning away from it.
"I though you're a Filipino major? I didn't know you're good at English" I joke. Really, akala ko talaga tagalog lang siya fluent magsalita. Pero English run pala. Funny.
Silence. We, we're silent for a moment, until she break it through asking if I w as okay? My smiles fades and Without looking down. Eyes straight forward and gritted teeth, I answered her that I was okay.
When we reach the hallway. We stop walking she face me and put her both hands on my shoulder para lang iharap sakaniya. "we lose someone we love for us to be strong and make us realize that life is short. They're death doesn't meant for us to suffer" nang gilid ang mga luha saakin mata.
"You used to be our qoutey girl. The girl who knows to put her words into quote. Whether it's love or not. Meaningful nor nonsense
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