yellow (remus lupin.)

twenty six.

TWENTY SIX.

Cara's elegantly manicured fingers trailed over the dust of the piano keys, occasionally hitting a few notes out of curiosity. She craved to let her body take over and begin to play a song, but she didn't think Sirius — who was passed out and snoring on the couch — would appreciate that.

Music was her happy place, something her mother and step father had instilled in her from a young age. One of the earliest parts of her life she could remember was watching Tony twirl Andrea under his arm as they danced lazily in the kitchen to a cringeworthy love song playing on the tinny radio. Seeing the pure love in Tony's eyes as he saw Andrea laugh in the blissful ecstasy of romance taught her to never let a man treat her as anything less than the jewel she was. For years, she yearned for her kitchen dancing moment with someone who loved her.

Jumping to a large conclusion she wasn't expecting, her mind swiftly conjured up the image of Remus spinning her around in his arms, still in their pyjamas on a hazy Sunday morning. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she remembered the acidic way he had spoken to her the night before, clearly proving he no longer wanted to twirl her around. Cara cursed herself for ever allowing her head to think she was worthy of something as beautifully innocent as love.

Sending her presence in the room, Sirius surfaced from his sleep and caught a glimpse of his miserable daughter at the piano. She had inherited his trait of simulating happiness, and being able to push aside misery when needed. He could see her trying to hide her heartbreak, but it was no good. Tears were falling quick and fast onto the dirty piano keys.

"Hey now, what's got you so sad?" He asked softly, placing his hand comfortingly on her shoulder as he perched on the long stool beside her.

"Life." She sniffled, attempting to dismiss her sadness with a chuckle.

"Come here." He motioned for her to lean in, and her head instantly landed on his shoulder. "Surely life can't be that awful? Look at me, I'm still smiling!"

Cara laughed at his over exaggerated smile, the irony of such joy contrasted against the trauma Azkaban had inflicted on his body.

"Come on now, what's happened? Do I need to hit anyone? School stress? Boy trouble?" He fired off questions before leaning in with a low voice, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Girl problems? No judgement here, we've all — "

"Stop that sentence right now." She slapped his arm, not wanting to hear about her father's flings. "It's nothing, really. Everything's just sort of got on top of me lately. I got shouted at earlier and it was the cherry on the cake."

"Who's been shouting at you? You're my kid, you're bound to be the most well behaved and angel faced student to ever grace the school." He teased with a smug grin.

Debating whether or not to answer him, she bit her lip and stared into thin air.

"Lupin was shouting at me." She told him, technically not lying. "Snape made a bizarre comment about him, I asked if he was okay and he was a prick about it."

It all slipped out so naturally, she was beginning to think she was leading a double life. One was with Remus, and one with Sirius. She prayed to the lord that the two wouldn't ever cross paths and bring her up in conversation or she would perish on the spot.

"What exactly did Snivellus say?" Sirius appeared to be mulling her words over deeply.

"Something about if he doesn't do something Snape asked, he'll tell everyone what Lupin really is." She explained, adding inverted commas for dramatic effect in her storytelling.

"For fuck's sake." Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh.

He didn't realise just how low Severus was prepared to stoop in order to usurp Lupin from his job. To Remus's friends, they would take his lycanthropy secret to the grave, yet it appeared Snape had other plans. It didn't seem fair to tell Cara the truth when it wasn't his truth to tell.

"There's a lot more to our Remus than meets the eye. He may have the face of a dashing teacher, but he's got a lot beneath his layers." Sirius explained.

"Like an onion." She nodded sincerely.

"Yes Cara, like an onion. Remus onion Lupin." He stifled a laugh. "Take it easy on him, yeah? He's got a lot on those shoulders of his."

"But he snapped at me!" She protested.

"I know!" Sirius matched her indignant tone. "If I know him, it won't have been you that made him snap. It'll have been all his other worries and stresses masking themselves as anger at you. The man isn't capable of getting angry half the time."

Taking in his words, he was probably correct. It was Snape he truly hated, not her.

"Go to his office and attempt to apologise, I guarantee he'll shut you down and do the apologising himself. You'll be right as rain in no time." He encouraged, shaking her shoulder a little. "And if he doesn't, I'll break in again and nick all the chocolate in his draw."

Both of them erupted into giggles, knowing how ballistic the man would go at the loss of his sweet collection.

"I'd kill to see him again." Sirius reminisced, his tone becoming bittersweet. "Just to hug him and call him a twat to his face. Have a butterbeer and a cigarette with him, watch him do that thing where he smokes it through his nose and breath out his mouth. Just to make him laugh again, make him do that laugh where he doesn't make any noise and just shakes."

Cara wanted to let slip just how badly Remus missed him too, but that would raise too many suspicions. Favourite student or not, there was no way he would confess to being friends with a suspected murderer to his students.

Hearing Sirius's words, she realised just how deeply she loved all of the small details of Remus. The way he always rubbed patterns into her back with his thumb, or when he was trying not to laugh they way he'd bite his lip and stare out the window. They were minute things that most wouldn't even acknowledge, but to her they were everything. Losing his loved ones may have broken his heart, but his soul could never be broken, nor change.

"Hello?" Sirius kicked her in the leg. "Are you still with us?"

"I'm going to go and try the apologising thing." She stood up quickly, brushing the dust from her light blue jeans.

"I forgot to ask, did you bring me any food?" He piped up curiously.

"No." She saw his face drop. "I was in a rush!"

"Oh I see how it is. I'm not the resident agony aunt you know!" He wound her up with a cheeky grin. "Go on then, make him feel guilty. Turn on the waterworks if it doesn't work, he can't handle crying very well."

With one last eye roll and goodbye hug, Cara lazily decided to apparate back into school. Thankfully it was a Saturday, so she was free to roam the school without raising any eyebrows. Arriving in the girls' bathroom, she gave her tear stained appearance rhe once over before heading for the hallways.

With her father's advice sat patiently in her mind, she began the walk to her lover's office.

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a/n: this fic hit 10k yesterday and now it's almost at 11k! thank you so much x