Always Writing Randomly (Always Randomly Writing Book 4)

I Feel Giddy

Why shouldn't I? Somehow at night...late night, I always feel exceptionally happy! Which is funny because just a few hours earlier I was at my lowest depths! Feelings are so fickle! I put the song because it kinda? sorta? ryhmes. Also, it and the musical it comes from is iconic! So...culture points! I've been reposting many of my old random pages because...I've decided I need to stop blocking out my frivilous,youthful, exhuberant past! It sure was fun for a lot of you to read,right? Plus...the early years of Wattpad are so adorably awkward! Plus, it really confuses people who stumble across my profile? I'm old, sounds like I'm new, mixture of both who knows? But, Hey! Gotta keep 'em guessing!

Dang. That song was deleted for a reason. I deeply apologise if this offended anyone. Also, to newcomers...never make an impression of me based on these books or any of my books. It's likely to change in a split second!

Anyways, I'm trying to generate the randomness and ideas I had/have once again, simply because...

Such a good song I wanted to share with you all!

I need some happiness in my life, we all do. I haven't been doing well. Lots of jazz you don't need to hear about. But in this silly chapter, I'd like to say something powerful.

Y'know how Dumbledore says that happiness can be turned on, like a light? I was in a situation where I neglected that light to severe extremes. I kept trying to achieve satisfaction, not happiness, by becoming someone I wasn't because I don't know who I am but that's what I feel like I need to be. I don't know if I've ever written about this before...but I have self-loathing issues. There are some days that are worse than others. Days where you utterly abhor yourself and want to scream out how much you hate...you. You throw punches at your own face, claw your body, and...yeah. Today was one of those days. I don't really have an outlet to talk about this with anyone, so...I just pondered. Pondering turned to wondering, wondering turned to dreaming, dreaming turned to planning, planning turned to- going back, fact checking myself, and doing research. I realized being whatever and absolutely random gave me great joy a few years ago. I felt valid and myself, I didn't worry about being good enough...
I loved doing this and it made me enthusiastic for something!
Maybe it could now, and with that...

Some HAPPY YODELLING!

I love Franzl Lang, so talented! Yeah, this is one of my favorite tracks and I put it right up there with happiness classics such as "Don't Stop Me Now"!

I know! I'm unbelievable aren't I?

Yet, I exist.