𝔽𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝔸𝕗𝕒𝕣 {𝕁𝕒𝕪 𝔼𝕟𝕙𝕪𝕡𝕖𝕟} ✓

*31*

I wake up today as usual. I tossed around and around.. i dont like to wake up and i dont want to wake up.

I look outside the windows that shine the sunlight on my bedsheets. There were baby birds getting fed by their mom in the tree next to my window, and how happy they were.

Wish i could be happy too..

Why am i living again? I dont even know.

For the first time i didnt want to get out of bed. I just rolled in the blankets. Just not knowing what to do.

Whatever, lemme just be antisocial again.

So i took out my phone and opens instagram.

*@aryennn posted a new photo.*

22k likes
@aryennn Just a morning coffee with my buddy Seojung♧

View all 19k comments

30 minutes ago

I clicked on the like button. Sigh.. shes so popular. Im so jealous. She dances so well and can reach out to people. Shes pretty and kind and funny and extroverted. Then theres me, who no one even knows me.

I scrolled down some more and i saw enhypen posted a new picture.

Theyre all so cute..

I zoomed in on Jays picture. Hes so cool in that outfit.. errmm-

I have no words

After staring at his picture for hours i went downstairs to do whatever shit i have to put up today.

Actually its already 9 and for the ifrst time mom isnt ngging me to get my ass out of the bed...

Thats kinda weird.

Or maybe because i havent brush my teeth yet.

So i turned around and went into my bathroom to brush my teeth. Then i wiped my face with a towel and went outside my room.

When i came down.. theres pitch black. Nothing?

No one? I looked around and theres no signs of them leaving the house.

Some bottles on the dinner table, ok thats normal.

Garbage full in the trashcan, thats normal.

Messed up living room, thats normal.

No car on the driveway, thats normal.

A note on the fridge, wait thats not normal at all.

'Heeyoungah, we decided that we wanted to take some time of vacation for ouselves since we have been so tired of work. And we're also visiting your brother to cheer him for his upcoming exams. While we're gone, make sure you dont trash the house and i want to see everything clean when we get home. We might be long. Dont expect us coming hone early'

The note said. So they were having a vacation for themselves without me just because they said theyre tired? Even though im the only one who always keep this house in shape? And THEYRE tired? What about me whos been feeling fatigued?

So theyre not acting like im the one who did theyre dirty laundry every single day?

Im not the one who cooked them whatever they wanted even though i havent eaten myself?

Im not the one who cleans up all the alcohol bottles everytime my dad comes home drunk?

Im not the one who cleans their rooms just so they would come back feeling satisfied?

Im not the one who handles shit everyday without saying whats in my head?

Im not the one who never fights back and just follow their orders?

What did i do to make them hate me so much..

Have i always been the outcast?

I was bullied in school and everyone knew me as 'the weird dreamy girl' in school.

The weird kid who hummed herself songs so that no one would listen to her singing.

I wrote songs expressing my feelings only to be meet by the dumpster.

I was the weird creepy kid who could only dreamt about being close to someone.

I always followed my familys orders just so i thought i could make them happy.

But was i ever happy enough?

Or should the question be,

Have i ever been happy?

I broke down and i hugged my legs.

Im crying so hard that my shirt is now wet.

Im crying so hard that it hurts.

After a few minutes bawlong my eyes out i laid down and messed up my hair.

Suddenly there was a sound.

Its a notification from my phone.

*jay shared a new post*

'Hi Engene! Todays a great day, so i hope everyone will take care of themselves and be happy! 😁💕'

I dont know why but the minute he said that..

I smiled seeing that post.

Oh jay, i really really need to see you right now...

A/N

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