Acotar and tog stories

Birthday boy pt. 3

Y/n

It had been a little over six months since Cassian's birthday. I stayed at the estate the entire time. Anytime Cass would come over I stayed in my room and before he left he would always come to my room to check on me as I pretended to be asleep.

Feyre and Mor were constantly at my side. They never brought up what was going to happen when the baby was born. I knew Cass would want to raise his child but he would also respect my wishes if I wanted to raise our kid solo. Some days he would get drunk, with Nesta, and his mental shields would fall down.

He started to hang out with Nesta more over these past six months, sometimes he would bring her over to the inner circle dinners as though his pregnant mate wasn't right upstairs.

I pushed Cass away and I knew that but he hadn't even fought for me. He just walked away, Az said it was because he knew I needed space. Some days it felt like Cass had given up on me, on us.

I heard Cassian walking up the stairs and I instantly closed my eyes. The door cracked open and Cass stuck his head in. That's usually all he ever did but today he walked in. I kept my eyes closed as he walked over to the chair Mor always sat in.

He didn't say anything just sat there. He stood up, brushed my hair off my face and kissed my temple.

I was tempted to open my eyes but he had his back to me and was moving to the door. I stayed up all night thinking about his lips on my forehead.

I woke up to a huge pain in my stomach. I cried out and Mor burst into the room. Cold tears rushed down my cheeks as I tried to think of a way to stop the pain. Mor had left, probably to get Majia.

I screamed out in pain as the baby kicked me hard in the stomach. Soon the inner circle and Majia were all in my room. "Your baby is coming out early," Majia said in a calm voice.

Mor came over to hold my hand as Majia told me what I had to do. I loved Mor for the support but I wished it was Cassian's hand I was holding.

It was finally over, our baby was born. It was a girl and Majia took her to the bathroom to clean her up. When Majia came back tears rimmed her eyes. "I'm sorry, she didn't make it." It felt as though my heart had stopped in my chest. I shook my head. This couldn't be happening, all my checkups the baby was healthy. Sobs shook my entire body, my baby was gone.

The door slammed open but I didn't have the heart to care. Someone picked me up and held me against their chest. I breathed him in, Cass was here. "Our baby.." I couldn't get the words out as I choked on my sobs. Cassian's tears fell onto my face and slid down my cheeks.

I didn't sleep for two days, I just laid in bed crying into Cassian's chest. "I'm sorry," it was around two am but Cass knew I was still awake. "I shouldn't have done that. Y/n your my world and I know I made a mistake and if you don't want to forgive me that's fine but I'm so sorry. I want to fix this, I can't lose you too." I was crying harder now and my tears were soaking his shirt up. I remembered that not only had I lost my child this week but Cassian had too. "I don't know what I want right now. I need time to figure it out." My voice was shaky. "Ok." I knew it wasn't the answer he was looking for but he would take anything that promised me in his life.

 "I never got to hold her, I didn't get to name her. I wanted you to help me pick out a name. I never got to hold my baby. " I whispered into his chest. He pulled me closer, he didn't need to say anything because I knew he was thinking the same thing. 

Ohh my gosh! I'm literally bawling my eyes out, this was so hard to write. I hope you liked it anyways. If you have any other prompts you would like me to write just let me know. Would anyone be interested in a part four? (It would take place a few months later and be about their relationship growth but if you just want it to end here that fine.)