Chapter 4-5

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This is horrible.

The smell of bleach-based cleaners, antiseptics, and sterility twitched my nose while I stood in between the end of two hospital beds. My chin tipped low as my eyes took in my two unconscious friends.

I don't know who looks worse.

Raina's body was battered, bruised, and covered with dried mud and bandaged cuts, like she'd been through a war battle. Her swollen, closed eyelids fluttered rapid bats of her lashes. I wondered what thoughts ran wild through her brain at that moment.

Elena, however, looked drained and lifeless. Her bouncy brown curls hung in limp strings on either side of her hollowed cheeks. Her skin was pale, except for dark circles pressed around her eyes, and looked like it sagged off her body. The bones in her collarbone protruded and her cheeks looked more like a skeleton's.

Since the moment I arrived at the hospital, Cole hadn't left her side. He was quiet, although the storm in his eyes said internally he struggled as he dealt with her condition. He clasped both of her hands in his and mindlinked her over and over. Every few minutes, his lips trembled or twitched slightly.

I turned away the moment he laid his head over her sunken abdomen. Even in a shared recovery room, I invaded their privacy.

The Western territory's hospital, attached to the medical and pharmaceutical research lab through a glass-covered walkway, was renovated but the room we were in looked like any other standard recovery room. Soft tan walls enclosed two standard beds, separated by an overhead sheet, and guest chairs sat on each bed's side. A set of large, expansive windows showed the impressive mountains around us.

Over the past hour here, a slow burn of anger and guilt had built up in me. My emotions surged up from nonexistence to searing my tongue to escape. The pent up sensation burning my veins increased the longer silence hung around us, thickening the airspace. Only the rhythmic beeps of monitor machines broke through, in an alternating, exchanged conversation.

As I walked over to Raina's bedside, I knelt down. Taking her nearby hand in mine, I placed the back of it against my cheek. Her skin was warm but her movements were still, except her fluttering lashes.

Hot tears pooled in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. "It should've been me."

At my whispered words, Cole's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed. "No."

My eyes stayed fixated on Rain's face as I objected, "If it meant my friends hadn't gotten hurt -"

"They knew the risks," he reminded me in a monotone but steady voice.

I couldn't imagine what went through his head but he sounded on autopilot. My tired eyes stared over Raina at him for a moment, impressed by his selflessness. His mate laid unconscious because of me and he didn't have any emotion except remorse.

Guess I don't know as much about Cole as I thought.

In particular, he wasn't angry. He hadn't lashed out, or blamed me when he had every right to.

I don't deserve his friendship.

I laid Raina's hand by her side, then stepped over to the large window and cupped my palms around my elbows. The view of gray and white rock peaks dotted with dark evergreen trees blurred from my vision.

Lumi offered a soft whine in the back of my mind. She obviously felt my emotions since I couldn't keep them in check, but stayed silent until now.

'Friends.'

Yeah and my friends are hurting because of me.

'No, Zara. My friend.'

I don't think we have a choice, Lumi. We're kinda stuck with each other.

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