The Betrayed won't Lie Low (discontinued)

Chapter 17

"That is enough," Laurelyn cut in from behind her sister and Aurelia, her voice commanding, "Nyx!"

She crossed her arms as they both turned to see her. There was a scowl in her expression and especially in the icy grey eyes.

Nyx's gaze was turned towards the grey floor, hair hanging over her right eye as usual. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

Aurelia's dark green eyes were glassy, her eyebrows furrowed as her stare locked onto Laurelyn's chin - she was shorter.

For a while, the three of them stood like that; Laurelyn scowling, Nyx's lips parted, Aurelia's eyes filled with tears. And they might have stayed like that - except something broke the tense silence.

Or rather, something. Xander, having finished cooking, stepped out from the kitchen cheerfully, until he froze as he saw them and all cheeriness left him.

"Wh - " Xander spluttered for a while. "Hey! What's going on?!"

Laurelyn scoffed. "Ask her." She jabbed her thumb in Nyx's direction before stalking off.

"...Nyx?" Xander said in a small voice. "What did you..." He trailed off.

Without a second's thought, Nyx bolted. The movement was too sudden for Xander or Aurelia to stop. By the time they got over their shock and registered what had happened, she was gone.

"Wait, Nyx - " Xander began to call out. He stopped and sighed, his shoulders slumping as if giving up. She was gone.

"Xander..." Aurelia said quietly, still staring at the floor as her tears finally fell. She was unable to hold them in anymore.

"What did she do?!" Xander's face was the epitome of confusion and worry.

"It's not... it's not important." Aurelia's voice sounded choked. "Where did she go? I have to apologize."

Xander stared at her for a moment, as if not hearing her. "I don't know. But you shouldn't have to."

"But it was my f - "

"No, it was not. Even from so far away I knew it was not." Xander frowned, stopping for a second.

"I..."

"Please tell me what happened."

♤

Of course I made another mistake.

Nyx's grey-brown eyes stared fixedly at the patch of sky that could be seen from the window as she sat on her bed.

Of course I should not have said what I did, again.

The night sky was restrained by the glass, unable to come into the house. A fitting comparison to Nyx Karesol.

Why had she thought that she could be different?

Her arms held her knees close to her chest. A small shake escaped her shoulders.

Why had she thought that what something that came out of her mouth could be anything better than useless?

Her fingers trembled. The hands clutched the side of her knees so tight that both the knees and hands turned white as she tried to suppress it.

How could she have talked to the princess like that?

Nyx bit her lip to stop the sobbing from escaping.

The one whom she had offended was the princess of the wolf-shifters. Even if she was not crowned yet, it was only a matter of time. And when the day arrived, she would order Nyx to be beheaded.

She breathed in, the exhale shaky.

And the princess was a young girl. How could Nyx destroy her like that?

Nyx gritted her teeth. It made a dull sound.

Darn her... Everything was her own fault, again, as always.

She looked away from the window. It was too beautiful for her damaged eyes.

Why did she always make mistakes?

Something like a hopeless sigh escaped Nyx's lips.

Why did she have all the flaws? Why was everything she did not good enough? Couldn't it be someone else for once?

Nyx looked small in the tiny room as she pressed the side of her head against the white wall. It felt cold on her cheek, the colour almost as blank as her eyes.

How could Laurelyn and Xander be so flawless and perfect in everything?

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to see this world anymore.

Nyx was a mistake. Xander would have been better off alone. He shouldn't have been born be her twin, nor Laurelyn her sister. They deserved better.

Nyx's body shivered.

Everything was her fault. If she hadn't been so stupidly afraid that day, she would still be alive.

Nyx felt so cold. It was a wonder she hadn't frozen into a block of ice yet. After all, it was winter.

Why did she let her leave her?

Nyx could have saved her. She could have! If only she had chosen to be a healer instead of a warrior in the beginning. Laurelyn might have been the one who smirked with cunningness and started everything, but she was the one who had smiled and agreed with the plan. How could everything have gotten so out of hand that day?

A tear rolled down Nyx's cold cheek. Then another. And another, and another, until it was as if she was a waterfall of pain and suffering.

It was my fault.

What was wrong with her? Why could she not be a normal person for once, and not use her words like poison? Why couldn't she hold back from hurting others verbally, and physically too?

In the princess' state and with her personality, she would probably only want to apologize to Nyx. But Nyx didn't want that. It was her fault, not the princess'. She should have to take responsibility.

The princess was too kind, and Nyx knew her too well.

She hadn't known her for long, but she always knew. No person was a challenge for her. Their intentions were hers to conquer. But she never showed it, that she understood every tick of their hearts beating faster.

If she did let them know, what would they see her as?

When she hid it, she could control it. She would just be the average wolf-shifter. But she always understood too much, saw too much into the hidden meanings. And when she revealed even a little bit of her knowledge, they called her a liar and a monster.

Nyx knew what Laurelyn and Xander had felt in their confrontation. Anger. Protectiveness for the crying princess. Confusion for what had happened.

She knew. She always knew.

Nyx wished she felt better about herself, but she never had, and never could. She hadn't wanted to know that her father thought her an abomination. She had never chosen to have intuition so good, but he had always wished her dead. She knew it was because of the way her mother died, but that wasn't the only reason.

She didn't understand. Was she really that frightening to the guilty that they had to turn everyone against her? It wasn't like what she had was magic, or anything of the sort. She really couldn't see from their perspective. Was it really such a crime?

Laurelyn had called her lucky when she told her about the way she could grasp every meaning behind every person years ago. Perhaps Laurelyn had forgotten about that day already. But Nyx hadn't.

Lucky.

It was confusing, sometimes. Why would anyone think so?

Because sometimes, everything she had felt more like a curse than anything else.