Will You Ever Notice? (Bad Girls Series #2)

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I feel like this is the first time I had the chance to talk with Ynna like this; 'yong seryoso, may sinseridad, at makabuluhan.

Sa lahat ng babae, ako ang pinakabulag.

I smirked and took a glass of liquor before I downed it with one go. Gumuhit ang pait sa lalamunan ko at naramdaman ko rin ang lamig ng pagbaba ng inumin doon.

Alam ko.

Akala ko, bulag ako sa pag-ibig... but I realized that I was blind from the things that will be better for me; from the things that are good. I always chose to go on the wrong path, accept that I made a mistake, and still continues with the journey.

Kaya siguro pakiramdam ko noon, paulit-ulit na lang ang lahat at umabot na ako sa punto ng pagsasawa. 

I stared at the glass I am holding and slightly tilted it. May tumamang strobe light doon at napapikit ako.

But the moment I closed my eyes, Lael's brown eyes flashed in front of me; ang mga pilikmata, ang pagkinang noon sa emosyong nararamdaman n'ya, at ang mga salitang tahimik no'ng sinasabi.

"You must've had a hard time dealing with me," Ynna said and I opened my eyes again as I glanced at her. She shrugged. She's wearing a silver tube dress at kitang-kita ang ganda ng hubog ng katawan n'ya. "This is really the way I am. So I don't think I can change."

"You can," agad kong sagot.

Tumaas ang kilay ni Ynna habang nakatitig sa akin, naghahanap ng eksplanasyon sa pagkontra ko sa sinabi n'ya.

We were told that we don't need to change to be accepted. But such a statement is not for everyone. Most people use it because of their pride—although they are toxic, they won't settle for change because they believe that they don't need to.

Such statements are in need of great self-evaluation. Dahil kung hindi pipiliing magbago, mananatili ba ako sa kung ano ang nakasanayan ko at hindi pipiliing lumago?

Ayaw ng karamihan na isuko ang mga bagay na nakasanayan na. Most people don't want to accept that they have to be corrected. Ang gano'ng pananaw, mas'yadong mapagmataas at walang pagpapakababa. 

Pride is one of the greatest hindrances of improvement. It closes and narrows right judgment, blinds a person from the truth, and eventually poisons that person from within. 

"You just need to be with the right person," I mumbled and his face flashed in front of my eyes once again.

Ang buhok na hinahawi ng hangin, may kakapalang mga kilay, at morenong balat. 

"Are you telling me to depend on someone?" Ynna scoffed and shook her head.

"No," ngumisi ako at kumuha ng isa pang drink na nasa table. "I'm saying that you need  a suitable environment for you to grow."

After all, sharks grow in the waters and lions on the land. Growth is dependent on the environment. Kung wala sa tamang lugar, growth will be impossible.

That's what I realized when I became friends with Lael and Caleb.

I needed their environment to open my eyes. Kung hindi ko sila nakasama, maiisip ko ba ang lahat ng 'to? Siguro... pero mas magiging mahirap ang lahat para sa akin.