more than the past ➶ natsuri [ddlc]

chapter 15

"I'm really happy." Katsuo sat back in his chair, his stomach satisfied and his heart fluttering. "When I had heard your reputation, I debated whether or not to confess to you."

"My reputation?"

"I'm sure you already know," Katsuo said, crunching on a piece of ice. "I even heard girls would confess to you!"

"Oh," Yuri mumbled. She forced heat to enter her cheeks, tinting them with a rosy color. "But now I'm dating you." She smiled brightly, tilting her head so her purple hair would flow more easily down her shoulder.

"I'm so glad," Katsuo beamed.

Yuri felt a sick feeling in her stomach. Maybe it was guilt. After all, she was technically using Katsuo, wasn't she?

"Yuri," Katsuo said suddenly. "Can I kiss you?"

Yuri sat there, silent. She stared at him for a while and watched as his face turned red.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to cross any lines. I can wait as long as I need to."

Yuri smirked, just slightly. Her gave her a slight rush watching him crumble inside. A slight sense of guilt entered her mind, but she pushed it into the back of her mind. "We can kiss if you want. I'm not uncomfortable with it at all since I'm used to kissing."

A smile spread of Katsuo's face. He pushed back his shaggy bangs from his eyes and stood, brushing a few crumbs off his shirt. "Wait, what do you mean by, 'used to kissing?'"

"Kissing isn't hard for me since I've kissed almost all of my friends before. It's not something I make a huge deal out of."

"Oh," Katsuo said quietly. "It's different for me. I save that kind of stuff for a romantic partner. I find it too special to just give away. I have boundaries."

Yuri raised her eyebrow. "Are you slut-shaming me for kissing people?"

"I mean, that's a harsh way to put it, but I don't see why you can't set boundaries."

"Katsuo," Yuri said firmly, an edge creeping into her voice. "I do have boundaries. Mine just happen to be different from yours, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. I didn't kiss my friends when I was in relationships, either. It was just between them."

"I'm just saying, why couldn't you have saved that kind of intimacy for romantic partners instead of letting those things lose their value by just tossing them around?"

Yuri's jaw dropped as her entire body heated up. She brushed her hair out of her eyes with her fingers to reveal her face, flushed with heat. Her eyebrows narrowed as she stared at Katsuo. "Must you really know why I do it?"

Katsuo's eyebrows raised, and he recoiled.

"There's a reason why I did it, and since you seem to be demanding one, I suppose I can tell you." She took a sip of her drink daintily and then crossed her legs. "I loved once. My first kiss was with my first love, who broke my heart. I cried myself to sleep that night."

"Yuri, I-"

Yuri held up her hand to silence him, and he stared at his lap. "Years later, when I kissed someone new, all those feelings returned. All of those feelings of heartbreak that I dealt with forever returned. I was shocked that kissing had so much power over my emotions. So, when that relationship ended, I decided that I wouldn't allow it to have power over me anymore. I realized that something can only have power over you if you let it."

Katsuo sighed, clutching his chair.

"So, I dethroned kissing. It's not like I have sex with my friends, but kissing isn't a big deal to me. Plus, kissing is fun, and I don't have to worry about catching feelings since I don't really associate it with romance anymore. So," she said, glaring into his eyes. "I do have boundaries. They're just different from yours."

Katsuo bit his lip and broke eye contact with Yuri. "I'm so sorry, Yuri. I was just jealous, and it was wrong of me to assume you had no boundaries. I realize now that there are two sides to every story, and I should've listened to your side before jumping to conclusions. I hope you can forgive me."

Yuri took his hand. "I forgive you."

He positively beamed as he grabbed his coat and held out his hand. "Shall we go, then?"

Yuri nodded, picking up her purse. Her hands shook ever so slightly as the guilt entered her mind once again. "I have to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

_

_

"I'm glad you told me," Katsuo said, staring at the floor.

"I understand if you no longer have any interest in me. I tried to force myself to like you the way you told me you liked me, but I couldn't. I just felt guilty, like I was using you. I didn't want to take advantage of you."

Katsuo was silent. The atmosphere between the two was unsettling and heavy. They could only hear each other's quiet breathing. Though there were people always walking down the street, they could only focus on each other. The hustling people trying to go about they day paid no attention to the couple either.

Yuri expected to feel bad telling Katsuo how she felt, but instead, she felt relieved. He was a great guy, and he was incredibly attractive, too. He was exactly her type, but she simply couldn't feel anything for him, and she couldn't control that. She realized, however, that she could control how she went about this.

He shook his head, as if he were shaking off some thought in his mind. "Can I have time to think?"

"Of course," she said, patting his shoulder. "You have my number." She turned and walked away into her neighborhood. She pulled her keys out of her pocket and inserted them into the lock. As the door opened, she saw Monika and Sayori exiting Natsuki's room solemnly.

"Ah, Yuri," Monika said, smiling brightly. "I'm glad you're home. What are we doing for dinner?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Oh, did they not tell you?" Monika said, laughing nervously. "Mother and father are going out of town, so you're in charge."

"You're not that much younger than me," Yuri groaned.

Monika shrugged. "So, what's for dinner?"

"I don't know," Yuri sighed. She set her bag down and made her way to the kitchen. "Where did these cupcakes come from?"

"Natsuki made t-"

Monika was cut off by a loud, blood-curdling scream coming from Natsuki's room.