more than the past ➶ natsuri [ddlc]

★ chapter 9

Natsuki felt hopeless. This fucking boy waltzed right into Yuri's life. Somehow, he managed to gain her attention, when Natsuki had known her for several years. He had known her for much less; she was sure of it.

As much as Natsuki wanted to give up, she couldn't help but sneak glances at the purple haired girl. Every time they locked eyes, she could feel her heart beating like a jackhammer. The thumping in her chest mixed with those stupid fucking butterflies were too much. But what could she do?

Was he as annoying as Natsuki had believed, or was she biased? Had her judgement somehow become too clouded for her to properly judge his character? Natsuki cursed at herself. She was at a great amusement park! Why couldn't she just have fun for once? She shoved her feelings down and focused on enjoying her day.

They rode several more rides, giving her that familiar fluttery feeling. But nothing could compare to the rollercoaster of feelings Natsuki was facing. In fact, Natsuki felt nauseous. She couldn't quite figure out why. Could it have been because of her feelings or the deep fried butter stick she ate only half an hour ago?

"Can we play some of the games?" Monika asked, pointing at a carnival game only meters away.

"Sure, let's do it!" Katsuo exclaimed, rushing to the game and slapping his tickets on the booth.

The employee turned around with a bright smile. She brushed her strawberry blonde hair away from her blue eyes.. "All you have to do is land a ring on one of the bottles. The one in the middle is worth the jumbo prizes if you get all three on the bottle!"

"Sayori!" Natsuki exclaimed. "You work here?"

"Why else would she be behind the counter?" Monika scoffed.

Natsuki rolled her eyes and smiled at Sayori. "I'll play!"

"Ladies first," Katsuo said brightly, backing away.

Natsuki's hands shook as she accepted the rings offered to her. With a deep breath, she carefully lined up her shot and-

miss.

That was okay. She still had two more rings. She pulled her arm back and tossed it-

miss.

One more ring. She knew she could do it. She closed her left eye and focused on the middle bottle and-

miss.

"My turn!" Katsuo said with a giddy excitement. His hands stood steady as he took the rings. He showed no signs of nervousness at all, which only made Natsuki more jealous. He readied his aim and began to toss each ring with surprising precision.

one.

two.

three.

Every ring landed on the middle bottle. Typical. Natsuki felt her eyes roll to the sky as he received a huge fluffy teddy bear. She had wanted to win the soft plush, so she could present it to Yuri.

"Hey, there's a 'Guess the age' booth! Let's go try it!" Katsuo suggested. The couple walked to the booth, leaving Monika, Sayori, and Natsuki.

Natsuki mumbled a quick "excuse me," and rushed to the bathrooms.

Monika sat there in shock. Did some gangly boy just steal Yuri? She pulled out a small folding knife she had stolen from Yuri. She could walk over to the boytoy and stab him. But she stared at her arm, and that seemed like a good option too. She couldn't think properly.

Her thoughts became unclear inside of her head. Her vision became blurry as tears started to pool in her eyes. Why couldn't something good happen to her for once in her life? Why couldn't it be her who got the girl she liked for once? Why did she always have to come so close to reaching her goal, only to have it snatched away?

"You emotional lesbians," a voice said curtly. Sayori reached over and took the knife, throwing on the ground, causing it to snap in half. Damn, that wasn't a very good knife.

Monika raised her eyes, her vision still blurred by unshed tears. "You're... Kobayashi-san?"

"Please," the girl said. "Call me Sayori." She picked up the knife and placed it in the garbage can at her booth. "I understand you are heartbroken and all, but this is not the fucking answer."

Sayori rarely cursed. But she hadn't bothered holding in her emotion this time. She hadn't bothered saying anything about the so-called bully of the school. The queen bee.

"You know," Sayori continued. "Ever since I saw your little secret, my life at school has gotten a lot better." Her expression softened as she sat down on the floor next to Monika. "But it seems yours has only gotten worse."

"Maybe it has," Monika confessed. Her guard had been so strong, she basically had no feelings. She hung out with people that worshipped the ground she walked on. Nobody had time for emotion. "The world is a cruel place, you know. Thank your lucky stars you're normal."

Sayori scoffed, snatching a sign from under her booth. It signaled that she had closed the game off to the public. She made her way around the table, stopping in front of Monika. "Look," she said, taking Monika's hand. "I know how much you wanted all of this to work out, but maybe, instead of focusing on the past, you can focus on your future."

"Do you work for a greeting card company?" Monika spat. Sayori raised her eyebrow. "Okay, fine. You're right, Sayori-chan." The strawberry blonde's name felt so perfect coming from her lips.

Monika hung up on phone, blinking back tears. The words her mother had spoke resonated in her mind. "I just don't want to deal with children right now, especially not you," Mother had said.

Now the only thing left was to hope Kana and Yuki would be home soon.
Monika longed for a parent. Somebody to be there.

After Mother had left, there was nobody. Nobody but Yuri. Nothing. Nothing but romantic love. Lust, even. And maybe that could be enough.

"Are you okay?"

Monika snapped her eyes up to look at whoever thought they were good enough to speak to her. Kobayashi Sayori.

"Maybe, things aren't as bad as they could be," Sayori said, gently squeezing Monika's hand. "But you're strong. You can get through this, okay?"

Monika brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Sayori-chan, thank you."

"Just one thing," Sayori said.

"Name it. Anything. Money?"

"Stop bullying Natsuki."

"Done! I'll stop. But I also have a favor."

"Depends."

"Join my clique? I could use a friend who isn't just there for the popularity," Monika said, staring at her feet. "Plus, you've already seen my weak side."

"You know what?" Sayori said, her eyes meeting green. "Why not?"

Monika smiled, and it was like a ray of sunshine. Sayori blushed, just slightly. "Maybe you're not as bad as I thought you were."

Monika furrowed her brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Sayori grinned, pushing a strand of brunette hair behind Monika's ear. "It means that under your little façade, you're just like everyone else, wanting to feel loved."

Monika bit her lip. "Maybe."

"How about I close down my booth? We can take a walk through the amusement park until Yuri and her boyfriend decide they're done." Sayori offered, extending her hand.

Monika felt an odd feeling in her stomach. It wasn't like what she felt with Yuri. It was nice. Pleasant.

"I'd like that."