Total Drama NFL

Hook, Line, and Screamer

Marla: tonight, we're watching to see who can survive a real life scary movie, with special guest appearance by... the escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook!

Although Owen and Cheyenne decided to scare off...

Owen: [screams] Marla! Marla! There's a guy with a hockey mask and a chainsaw and a hook! And he's after us! And... yeah! Yeah, right there! He's right...

[chainsaw buzzes]

Owen: [screams] We're frickin' dead!

Marla: Owen! Stop screaming, it's Chef!

Cheyenne: Oh, cool! [laughs] Great costume! Wow, you totally got me. You did. I was freaked out.

Owen: You punked us?

Marla: Yes and no. It was your challenge to watch a scary movie then survive one.

Owen: [laughs] Did you hear that? He was punking us! It was a joke! [laughs] Too funny! Hah. I was all [imitates scream] and then you were all [imitates squealing]! Haha! For the love of Peter Pumpkin Eater. That was some fun going on! [chuckles] Am I right? Oh. You're still on the part where Owen shoved Cheyenne into the killer?

Marla: The good news is, Owen, you're safe. The bad news is for you, Cheyenne, you lost the challenge, but now, you get to watch our fake psycho terrorize the rest of the campers. [chuckles] Fun, huh? Haha.

Owen: Yes! Totally awesome TV viewing! Owen's not getting to second base, is he? First base? Didn't think so. Is he getting up to ba–

[Cheyenne slaps]

Cheyenne: I'm leaving, Owen Crowell.

Maverine: Great work, Chef. But next time, try to work the hook hand angle a bit more.

As Geoff tries to the Ice cream truck while D.J.'s getting scared...

Maverine: Dude, you're safe!

DJ: I am? Phew.

Maverine: It's just Chef!

DJ: [gasps]

Maverine: He was gonna scare the bejeebers out of you, but apparently Heather beat him to it.

DJ: Bro, did you see her face? That was some serious ugly going on!

Maverine: True, but you still bailed before Chef even got a crack at you. Speaking of which, you're up psycho man.

As Heather takes the shower...

Marla: Maybe if you paid attention to the scary movies, you'd know that A) you never go off alone, and B) You certainly never shower alone. Heather, you have lost the challenge. Get your clothes on before bonfire.

As LeShawna get some brownies...

Leshawna: Woo-hoo-hoo! I did not see that coming! No way.

Maverine: [mouth full] Mm, and challenging the killer? What were you thinking? But you scored major points for scooping up these delicious munchies. And it looks like our buddy Geoff is up next!

As Geoff looks at the chef...

Marla: By far the worst blunder yet.

DJ: Not to mention bailing on me! Don't you know you never leave a brother when he's taking a leak!

Owen: Okay. Even I know that doesn't sound right.

Gwen: [on the monitor] Where's Geoff?

Duncan: [on the monitor] Probably bit it with DJ.

Gwen: [on the monitor] Well, it's no surprise. Rule number eight, the party guy is a prime target for psycho killers, right after the big lovable jock.

Marla: Sorry, Gwen, Geoff has lost the challenge.

As Gwen and Duncan decide to look for a chainsaw killer...

Duncan: Someone lose this?

[everyone cheers]

Cheyenne: Way to go, Duncan! [claps] Hey, coolio! Gwen's taking on the psycho all by herself! Oh ho ho!

Duncan: Wait a sec. If Chef's in here... then who's in the lodge with Gwen?!

Owen: Holy Lola! It's the real escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook!

[all scream]

Owen: Gwen!

Marla: This could be really, really good for ratings... [panting] or really, really bad for lawsuits!

Gwen: Okay, I know actors without speaking parts don't get paid much, but seriously, dude, invest in a dental plan and some toothpaste! Hey! You want a sandwich before you impale me with your big, scary hook? Okay. [chomp] Look, you can drop the charade, okay? I know you're an actor with a hook prop. And frankly, you're not that scary.

Psycho Killer: [growls]

[chainsaw buzzes]

Everyone but Gwen: Gwen! He's the real escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook!

Gwen: What?

Psycho Killer: [growls]

Gwen: [screams]

Everyone but Gwen: Jack Youngblood?

Jack Y.: Could you expect Amityville Horror, huh?

Gwen: Uh, that is too risky.

[Gwen slaps]

Jack Y.: Ow! Oh, that was totally uncalled for! Man, I am so out of here! I was treated way better in prison!

Marla: See, Jack looks contagious.

Later that night...

Marla: Well it's obvious to everyone that Gwen wins invincibility. And sadly, it's equally unanimous that DJ walk the Hall of Shame. Since he was the only one who screamed and bolted without the escaped psycho killer even being there. But... no hard feelings, dude. You will be missed. By the way, I gave you an automatic disqualification for running through that door, that it's break. Goodbye.

Maverine: See, Howie, D.J. wasn't so bad.

Howie L.: Well, he was disqualified two times for seeing a bunny and, Marla said it previously.

Maverine [laughs]: Okay then, Howie.