Total Drama NFL

No Pain, No Game

Marla [through loudspeaker]: Listen up, campers! As of right now, all teams are officially dissolved. From here on in, it's every camper for themselves!

Duncan: Ahem, well, uh, it's about time we flew solo.

Leshawna: Oh-ho-ho, I am feelin' that! Bring it on, Marla!

Marla [through loudspeaker]: Then get ready for this! It's time for replacements.

[boat horn honks]

Bridgette gasps

Leshawna: You're frontin' me.

Heather: What? But that's impossible.

Trent: Aw man, what is she doing here?

Heather: No, it's new, and stop saying that, Trent.

Marla [through loudspeaker] : From Caldwell, Idaho, it's Cheyenne Arvai!

Cheyenne: Yes, I'm in!

Marla [through loudspeaker]: The last replacement from Perkins, Oklahoma, Dallas Johnston!

Dallas: Hey guys! It's good to be back at camp!

Marla [through loudspeaker]: All right, campers! Report to the amphitheater where you'll learn all about this week's challenge! Ksh. McLean out! Oh, wait, Cheyenne, you are with the girls, and Dallas is on the boys side.

Seconds later...

Marla: Dallas, you will be wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey. Since Harold last left, he regrets to it. And Cheyenne, you will be wearing a 49ers jersey. Broseph was disqualified and Geoff wins for the first challenge. Remember, Michael Irvin and Joe Montana will instruct you two.

Seconds later...

Marla: Welcome to your next challenge! The time-honored game of torture. Say Uncle! You are all about to be out through the tests of endurance so insane, that some of 'em sent our interns to the emergency room. If you back down from the challenge or do not last the required ten seconds, you will be eliminated. The winner will not only be safe from elimination, but will win this luxurious trailer. Yours to take home at the end of the summer.

Leshawna: What kinds of torture?

Marla: Why don't you ask my lovely assistant? All right. Let's do this. Duncan, you're first up. Let's spin the Wheel of Misfortune to select your torture.[wheel spins] Turtle puck shots! Our interns spent weeks collecting the grumpiest, angriest, crustiest, hungriest old snapping turtles on the island. While you stand in the goalie net completely unprotected, Chef will fire off turtle slapshots.

[turtles growl and snap]

[squeaking]

Marla [whispers]: If I were you, dude, I'd protect my coconuts. This could get ugly. [Duncan obeys] If you can stay in for ten seconds, you'll go on to the second round.

[buzzer sounds]

Duncan [gasps in pain]: Oww!

[turtles chomping]

Duncan groans

Marla: And Duncan moves on to the next round! Isn't this fun?

[ding]

Duncan: Yeah, it's a riot.

Maverine: Next up, Lindsay!

[wheel spins]

Maverine: Your torture is... marshmallow waxing! We're gonna wax every part of your body. If you can take the pain for a full ten seconds, you can go to the next level.