Next To Me

Of Confusions

I saw her waiting at the taxi stand with her bag and she seemed sleepy. I opened the car door for her as I threw her things at the back seat. She quickly slumped at the passenger seat and she was getting ready to take a nap.

"You won't even ask where I would take you." I asked nudging her.

"I won't bother. You won't do anything bad to me anyways. You won't waste your time on it. Just drive and I need to sleep. Ok?" she asked and closed her eyes. She was drifted into a deep sleep quickly.

She was totally asleep until we reached the beach house of my friend. I knew Lily would be there with her boyfriend. I parked the car along with the others and turned off the engine. Jody was really lost in a deep sleep. I moved towards her as I was removing her seatbelt. I can feel her warm breathe against my neck as she was still unaware that the car has finally come to a halt.

"What? She is really that sleepy?" I muttered under my breath as our faces were inches away from each other. She really has long lashes and all of a sudden I felt bad on dragging her here. She was supposed to be resting at home. I found myself drawn closer to her face and I was looking at her full lips. I suddenly jerked up as she moved and slowly opened her eyes. She was glaring at me for I was so close to her face.

"Oh, we're here! I slept all the way to here?!" she exclaimed smiling at me. I uneasily moved away from her. I was shaking my head as she fixed herself.

"You're drooling and snoring!" I teased her and she slapped me hard on my shoulder.

"I am not. I know what I do though I am in a deep sleep." She reasoned out as she reached for her bag. I didn't notice that she was wearing shorts and I was looking at her legs. I noticed that she has long, thin legs.

"Never mind your bag. I'll carry that in our cottage. We are staying in one room and sharing a bed." I explained as I gestured my hand to her and she nodded like a child. We finally went out the car and meet the others. And to our surprise the next cottage beside us is where Lily and Matt were staying. Jody was chummy with everyone. It's good that she has a good sleep. The beach resort was for reserved for us only. There were no other people but just our group and the caretakers.

I was gaping at Jody as she went out the bathroom wearing a long summer dress. She was also staring back at me as I was half-naked in front of him with only my board shorts.

"Hey, you're drooling!" I said as I was pretending to wipe the side of her lips. She slapped my hand and smirked at me.

"Yeah, yeah! You get that a lot. I know!"

"Well, you don't look that bad yourself. I didn't know you have that long legs?" I said and wink at her as I pinched her chin. She suddenly has that rosy flush on my cheeks and she was giggling.

"What? Am I making your heart skipped a beat?"

"You seemed so touchy now, when it's just only the two of us, here. Save it for the people outside."

I was also surprised why I am so touchy with her when no one is around watching our moves with each other. She went out first to help in the preparation of the food. I heard Lily outside and as I was getting ready to go outside. Lily was suddenly inside our cottage. Her eyes seemed a bit red and puffy.

"Jody, seemed to be mingling great with the others. She really is nice." Lily observed and she was so closed to me suddenly.

"Is there anything wrong? You looked tired and sad?"

"I don't now. I just had an argument with Matt earlier this week and we can't seem to sort it out. I thought getting away together would help but he doesn't welcome the idea of getting away with you around." Lily said as she was resting her hand on my chest already and I felt nervous.

Before I know it, I was kissing her. I was searching for that familiar and warmth feeling but I was lost. I moved away as I looked at the door of the cottage. It was ajar and I saw a familiar dress which was suddenly gone.

"You didn't find it?" Lily asked searching my eyes for an answer and I was shaking my head. She inched away from me and she was smiling bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Lily. We have to go out. You and Matt should talk?"

She nodded her head and we went out the cottage. Everyone was busy preparing the food. Jody was flanked by Gregg and Julius as they were preparing the grill for the barbecue. Anna brought her boyfriend Tom with her and they were busy with the rice and the cooked food they brought. Matt was all alone sorting the beer and alcoholic drinks inside the ice box.

"I'll get some coal and I think we need ice." Jody volunteered and before anyone could notice that she is trying to get away from me, I accompanied her. We were walking quietly to the reception area of the beach resort. And here she goes again, making me feel so damn guilty with her silence. I was trying to ignore her up until we reached the reception area. I know I would be the losing end because she is good with silence.

"Thank you for this. We might come back for more ice for their beers." She was all smiles at the woman caretaker and they seemed to like her already. But as she turned to face me she was back with her good old' pokerfaced.

"What now, round eye?!" I can't help it anymore.

"So it's round eye again, eh?"

"Well, spill it out. Here you go again with your silence."

"I am not doing anything. I am silent anyway." She laughed and I let this one pass.

The day is too early to start it with an argument. And besides why would I argue with her and feel guilty. But then again, she always does give me this feeling. She really does make me furious with her silence. She would bother me with just her quiet treatment. Most of the girls I know would nag you to death when they are mad or when they want you to respond to something but Jody is a different case. She has an ally with silence. As we reached our group, Gregg was left tending the grill and barbecue as the others were out in the beach already.

"You go on. I don't have plans of swimming." She snapped as she was shooing me away like a dog. And there she goes again; she is the silence with great sensitiveness. I was not even staring at the beach to give her a clue that I was itching to swim. I was scratching my head looking at her and Gregg was smiling at me.

"You know, you look cute together. You could tell each other's feeling without saying anything." Gregg commented laughing.

"You can't be so sure about that. Besides, how can Jody be so sure that I was itching to swim?" I defended myself and they laughed at me.

"Go on."Jody smiled and she and Gregg ignored me already. I went ahead to the beach and just enjoyed the water. Still, I found myself glancing to where Jody was. I felt uneasy seeing her with other guys even though I know she was with my friends. I came out of the water as I saw her walking towards me. She was waving a hand at me and she was so serenely beautiful as she walk closer to me. The summer breeze was playing with her hair and her summer dress.

"We are good for lunch! You need to dry up!" she called out and I don't know what came to me but I just suddenly felt embracing her and I did, even though I'm still wet. She jerked as she was not ready with my gesture and I wrapped my arms around her more tightly.

"What are you doing?! Now, I am all wet?" she cried as she was still trying to let go of me. I loosened my embrace and stared at her.

"Now, you could feel the water even though you didn't swim." I said and winked at her and she blushed. She was smiling as she was staring at me. And we just stood there staring at each other until someone called out to us.

"Let's go!" Jody broke the silence and grabbed me by the hand as we ran to the cottage. We had a hearty lunch and Jody was serving me the food and I noticed she was not touching her crab.

"Don't you like that?' I asked.

"Oh, not really. It's just messy to eat. Would you like more rice?" she said as she put some rice on my plate. I decided to crack open the crab for her and get the meat for her. She was looking at me as I expertly tear up the crab and put the meat on her plate. I was gesturing for her to eat it.

"Oh, don't be too sweet here. We might not have some appetite for desert anymore?!" Anna teased us and everyone giggled. I noticed that Lily was extra cozy with her boyfriend like nothing happened awhile ago between us.

"Yes, please! There are singles here?!"Julius and Gregg complained in chorus.

Jody was enjoying her crab meat that I have for her and I was just watching her eat heartily. I felt happy that moment but I felt confused again and also annoyed. I don't know what message Lily wanted to sent out to me. She is confusing me at the moment but I felt warm and happy with Jody beside me.

After lunch, everyone went out their own way as we just decided to have some drinks later this evening and some karaoke. Jody and I were left cleaning and washing the dishes. I don't like the task but Jody seemed good with it.

"Do you have somewhere to go to? I can manage here?" she said as I was handing her the dishes. I gave her a frown as she was shooing me away again.

"You'd been shooing me away like a dog ever since this morning?! What is the problem here?"

"Nothing. I was just asking. I was just thinking that you might want to be somewhere else?" she said shrugging her shoulder and I realized I was defensive. I suddenly thought that maybe she saw me and Lily kissing but I brushed off that thought. I don't need to explain anything anyway if ever she really saw me with Lily. I was battling with my thoughts again and I noticed Jody was watching me curiously.

"What?!"

"Nothing. You seemed lost in your thoughts?"

"Are we done here? Let's go take a walk?" I said and as she put down the last plate, I grabbed her hand and we walked along the beach.

I think everyone went out to the town to buy some stuff. The breeze was refreshing as it was nearing the sunset now. Jody seemed to enjoy the walk on the beach as she was having a peaceful face staring out the long stretch of sand and water. It was so serene and enjoyable watching her. I didn't think I could find this worthy of my time. I know myself, I would easily get bored doing this and I know I should be with rest who is scouring the town right now.

"Are you staying here long? I'm afraid I have to go back tomorrow morning already? I grabbed some overtime at work the next day and I need a good rest." She broke the silence as she looked at me. We were almost at the far end of the beach now.

"We were supposed to stay here for three days. We can't just leave right away?"

"You can still stay here. I can go back on my own."

"You are deciding again on your own. You really like this right? You shooing me away and leaving me behind. I realized you had this habit of running away from me."

'What's with the observation? It's not a big deal, Raymond."

"Oh, well it is! You know, the truth is you seem to like the fact that I will come after you no matter what. That I will beg you to stay next to me. You are some lucky girl, you know. You know, girls come after me not the other way around"

She was suddenly laughing and I was angry really. She frustrates me a lot. It is infuriating what she is doing to me now. I just realized I was angry at her because I was not my usual self because of her. She noticed that I was still on my serious face and she stop laughing. But then, when she was laughing, her eyes were not laughing with her.

"I know girls come after you. And I very well know that a guy like you will not come after me, Raymond. So stop with your nonsense babbling here. I'm just doing the right thing of shooing you and leaving you behind so you can come up to your senses that we are going nowhere here. You see, this situation frustrates you."

I gave out a deep sigh. She was opening up the issue again about this pretend relationship that we had. What's with her? Doesn't she like being with me, pretending to be my girlfriend. Why of all girls I chose her to pretend as my girlfriend!

"So here we go again with this issue. It all boils down to this right. What's with you? You act like you are disgusted with me! Don't you like me a bit just to go on pretending?" I asked and I don't know why I came up with that question and she seemed taken aback with my question.

I know she was not ready to answer the question like I was not ready for those words to come out of my mouth. She looked away and I noticed that it's already sunset and the others may arrive anytime now.

"We better get back" she said as she walked along before me. I watched her walked away and I am here again watching her walk away. Damn it! She is really frustrating! I'm going mad now asking her that question. In the first place, why would I ask that question? I can't be frustrated of the fact that she can't like me or I can't tell what she feels about me because I don't have the right.