Next To Me

This is where...

I was awakened by the streak of sunlight coming right on my face. When I opened my eyes there was her face so serenely sleeping. The face of the girl who loves me. She is still here. I felt her breathe coming out her nose as I moved my face closer to her. I was looking at her closely, almost seeing her pores and some facial warts. I was studying her face and I was lost in a wonderful feeling with her just next to me. Just a breath away. A kiss away. I was looking at her long lashes and the light from the window was shining on them. I looked at her full mouth and it was so pale but it looks so soft.

She moved a bit and take a deep breathe as I felt her moving away, I had my hand on her back so she can't break lose from me. Just her next to me; feeling her warmth and all I can hear is our own heartbeat. Funny, I can't even hear the sound of the waves coming from the beach. I saw her eye twitching, itching to finally wake up. And before I can make a move, she finally opened her eyes. Her round eyes were almost gawking at me. She quickly moved her hand to her chest as if defending herself from me but I still have my arms around her.

"Don't worry. Nothing happened. Can we just stay like this for awhile?" I said almost begging her and she didn't move and just looked down.

"I have to go now." She said and I lifted her chin up so she can faced me again.

"I'm going with you."

"Are you sure? I mean, they might-"and before she could play me with her words I did what I should have done awhile ago while she was sleeping.

I kissed her soft, pale lips. I felt her lips twitching but I just made her feel my lips against hers. It was wonderful and warm and amazing. Our lips were just pressed softly against each other at first, but I felt moving and tasting her sweet lips. And I did, I felt my heart almost exploding when she started kissing me back now.

I felt her hands now resting on my chest as if groping to feel my own heartbeat. It was a soft, lingering kiss. I didn't know how we ended it but I know I kissed her at the tip of her nose and just pull her closer against my chest. She was nestling on my neck and I knew I've never felt like this before.

I can't even compare this to what I had with Lily. And besides, it is unethical to compare your past relationships t your present one. Then again, I cannot even consider Jody as my present one. It feels like I'm falling in love for the first time. I am falling in love?

"We better get ready, then." She broke the silence as I finally let her go. I watched her stood up from the bed and grab her things. I sat up from bed as she closed the bathroom door. I was smiling and shaking my head. I stood up from bed feeling weak and dazzled by the happiness inside my chest. I started picking up my things. Right after she went the bathroom, I followed and fix myself. We finally bade goodbye to our friends as we walked towards the parking lot. As I was about to open the car door for her, I hesitated and stared at her. She looked at me blankly.

"You saw it. You saw Lily kissed me." I said and she looked at me and her eyes were telling me a lot that I cannot understand.

"It doesn't matter. Let's just go home." She said and I finally open the car door for her. Our trip back to the city was quiet and Jody was buried in her book. Just like the good old' times when we usually hang-out. I felt uneasy, seeing her like this with her book. It's like she's shutting me out from her world. Her world that I wasn't able to fully realize up until now. All I know is she loves me and that is something concrete about it. But why does she seem to be pushing me away. As we reached the cityscape, she looked at me.

"You could just drop me off at the usual place. I can take it from there. Just the usual." She said smiling at me.

"I-if we can have some coffee before you go home? Can we?" I asked feeling stupidly nervous. I am feeling nervous with her beside me like I was some teenager talking to my crush. She nodded her head in agreement.

We were walking from the parking lot to the coffee shop and I was holding her hand. I'm trying to feel it and absorbing the moment I was holding her hand.

"You're breaking up with me, today. I can feel it." I said as we reached the coffee shop and sat at our usual spot. There are a few people at the street for it is Sunday.

"Well, then we should do this how we started it."

"What do you mean?"

This is it. It is really ending. After all the moments and the kiss that we just shared just awhile ago will all be gone now.

"I would leave first. I was the one who found you here and it is my turn to walk away."

She just nodded her head. We were suddenly quiet and it's as if Jody was waiting for me to stand up and leave. I looked at her as she was just watching the few people passing by at the coffee shop. I noticed that her eyes were watery.

"In any moment now." She said and took out her book inside her bag.

I slapped the table hard as I stood up from my chair. I was feeling angry and she is really ignoring me. She was giving me a shocked stare as her tears finally fell down her cheeks.

"You are unbelievable! You know that!" I said exasperated as I turned my back from her and walked away from that place. I hate that place now. To hell with round eye.

I was balling my fist as I walked so quickly but I'm fighting the urge to look back or even turn around. As I felt I was far away enough, I found myself running back to the coffee shop. I instantly saw the empty table where I left Jody. I approached the guard and asked if he saw a familiar lady I was with awhile ago. The guard pointed me into a direction and I ran hoping to see Jody still.

I saw her walking slowly to the next jeepney stop. There were a few people and I was keeping a good distance from her. I have decided to follow her. I stopped a cab the minute I saw her get on a jeep. I told the driver to follow it. I realized she was taking almost an hour getting to our meeting place. She got off at a residential area and entered a side street. I saw her entering a small-gated house. She was opened by an old woman. Maybe it was her mother. As the door was closed I decided to go back to the mall where I left my car.

I am having a heavy heart as I get on my car. I looked at my back seat and I found my hand feeling the empty seat. All I have now is an empty passenger seat.