unpacking secrets

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•Tommy•

tommy woke up to phil shaking his shoulders gently. her groggily sat up and opened his eyes.
"supper time boys." he smiled as tommy looked over to see wilbur and techno slowly sitting up as well.

techno took his headphones off cautiously. outside was still a raging thunderstorm but he felt ok enough to go downstairs and try to eat. tommy guessed it was because phil didn't know and techno didn't want him to.

they went downstairs. techno stuck close to wilbur as they walked.

tommy sat at the table and stared down at the food in front of him. it smelled delicious but he didn't really know how much he could stomach. since being at phils, he was struggling with his eating, and not because he didn't want to eat, he really did. it was because he wasn't used to eating very much, that sometimes if he ate too much his stomach couldn't handle it.

he began eating the spaghetti slowly, it was amazing and once he started eating he couldn't stop until it was gone.

he actually felt good about himself for a few minutes. he glanced over to techno and will. wilbur was mid conversation with kristen but he could see that he had his hand in techno's comfortingly, so that if the thunder got too much techno could squeeze it tightly and get out of there. although he seemed to be doing alright so far.

after joking around and joining in on a bit of conversation tommy started to feel ill. his stomach churned and he immediately got the feeling that he might throw up.

"may i be excused to go to the bathroom please." he said trying to be polite. it was a new thing that he tried out whenever he was is Kristens presence.

she smiled sweetly and nodded, nobody picked up on his panic as he put his plate in the dishwasher and walked into the bathroom.

he felt clammy, his hands were shaky and slick with sweat as he shut the door and leaned against the toilet bowl his entire body felt ill now.

he leaned forwards and retched, the contents of his dinner were emptied into the toilet. he was there for a few minutes dry heaving nothing until he fell away onto the cool tile floor.

thunder rolled outside and he hoped techno was ok as he lay there on the floor, thoughts hurtled through his mind like a rocket going into space.

you're pretty worthless. lying on the floor like a lazy brat. they don't love you they pity you. cant even stomach one meal. pathetic. worthless. nothing.

he felt his body start to tremble and he wanted to get up but black spots began to dance in his vision. other than the dinner he'd just eaten, he hadn't had a proper meal in several days, just claiming that he'd bought something on a walk or when phil wasn't in the kitchen had made something, just to hide the fact that he wasn't eating.

It was starting to dawn on tommy that not eating made him feel better about himself. he wanted to eat, but at the same time when he didn't he felt happier.

sickness washed over him again and he tried to get up to his knees again but the black spots threatened to overcome him. he needed to get back up without passing out, maybe grab some water, he had been forgetting to drink that.

he pushed himself to his knees with a groan and had to hold his head in his hands for a quick second. luckily the sickness washed away again and he was able to push himself up to his feet using the sink ledge.

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