If i fall, will you catch me?

miscommunications

•Tommy•

Tommy rolled over in his bed frantically. He bolted upright to his feet and retreated to the corner of his room shakily. He took several deep breathes but couldn't manage to get his frantic heart rate under control.

it was just a nightmare.

He rested his head in his hands. There was nobody here, nobody to help him. Tubbo was in the guest room, his brothers were in their rooms. Phil was asleep and Kristin had reluctantly left on a business trip in the morning.

He shuddered and gasped, flexing and clenching his palms over and over again. The nightmare remnants cling to him tightly. Pushing and prodding at his skin. He hadn't had a nightmare about Wilbur in almost a week, and it wasn't like he could go to Wilbur for help right now. if he did then Wilbur would ask what the nightmare was about, and there was no way tommy could say that it had been about Wilbur dying. it would make Wilbur feel guilty.

He stumbled out of his room and into the bathroom. He tried to make his footsteps light, but it was hard while trying to maintain his breathing. He shut the door and flipped on the light switch taking a second to survey himself in the mirror. His hair was messy and he was starting to get the under eye bruises back that he had just gotten rid of. His face was pale and his hands were slick with sweat as he gripped the edge of the sink, his breath flowing in and out in heavy waves.

He really didn't want to pass out but if it kept up like this then he would be on the floor soon. He turned on the tap, not really caring about the noise at this point and splashed ice cold water on his face. It didn't really help as much as he thought it would. He switched the tap off and stumbled back to his room, not hearing doors open behind him.

He clutched his chest and heaved for air, black spots began to dance in his vision, the image of Wilburs near dead body implanted in his head. There were footsteps behind him and in a daze he managed to turn around.

Tubbo raced over to him and crouched on the ground next to him. The light from the guest bedroom just a ways down the hall was on, gently illuminating the hallway.

Tommy felt Tubbos hands on his shoulders but he couldn't hear what Tubbo was saying. Then it was Wilbur, Techno and Phil. He'd woken them all up.

This only made the panic increase. He could see the worry etched into Phil's face. Techno rushed over to Tommy and immediately gripped his hands in his.
"Tommy, hey Tommy it's alright, you're ok." Technos soothing voice filled his ears.

He could see Wilbur having a hushed argument with Phil, clearly Wilbur wanted to go over to Tommy but Phil was saying it's best to stay back.

What if he was triggering Wilbur. He inhaled shakily and pulled from Technos grasp. He bolted for the door and ran outside to the front yard. He just needed to be out of there.

He heard a soft yell from inside the house behind him. It sounded like Wilbur, maybe Techno?

He took shaky inhales and managed to slowly but steadily start to calm himself down when he heard more footsteps.

Someone gripped both his shoulders gently and kneeled beside him pulling him into a side hug.
"Hey Toms... You alright now?" Tubbos voice asked him.

Tommy shakily nodded and leaned into his best friend.
"why are they y-yelling?" he asked

"Phil didn't know what was happening, and he didn't want wilbur to follow you cause... i don't know, maybe because he's dealing with other stuff and phil just... i don't know." Tubbo finished and tommy could tell that he didn't really know what he was saying.

If wilbur had come to help him, he definitely would have brought wilburs mental health down. He sighed loudly and tubbo rose to his feet helping tommy with him.
"come back inside toms, it's chilly out here."

Tommy nodded and followed his best friend inside, hoping that the others wouldn't be standing around the door.
To his dismay, they all were.

"Sorry... Im fine... really I am." He spoke quietly as they all watched him. He tried to walk away but Phil called him back.

"Tommy can I talk to you for a minute." he said and tommy couldn't tell if it was angry or not. Wilbur glared at Phil but phil shrugged him off.

"what happened?" he asked. and as he said so he noticed wilbur walk away with a look of reluctance on his face.

"I-I just had a bad dream, I'm fine." he spoke not meeting anyone's gazes.

"what was the dream about, it clearly worked you up a lot." Phil's voice had hints of sincerity but he was a hard person to read.

"It was nothing it's fine phil don't worry." Tommy tried to turn to walk away but Phil caught his shoulder. Tommy tried to shrug him off but Phil spoke again. "Tommy I need you to talk to me."

For some reason Tommy could feel anger building up in his throat. He wanted Phil to stop, he'd been fine without the plaguing of questions, he didn't need this.
"I don't have anything to say."

Techno tried to step in but Phil held up a hand at him. Tubbo looked around sheepishly before turning to follow wilbur. He wasn't sure if he should be there while phil discussed with tommy.

"Tommy you have to start telling me things... you have these panic attacks now, and nightmares and you're not telling me anything."

Tommys blood boils beneath his skin. Couldn't he see it?

"Toms. I just want to help you be ok."

Then Tommy snapped.

"OK!? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE OK!? MY BLOODY PARENTS JUST FUCKING DIED LESS THAN A YEAR AGO, IVE BEEN HAVING PANIC ATTACKS AND NIGHTMARES FOR MONTHS THIS ISNT NEW! OH AND DONT FORGET I ALMOST JUST LOST MY BROTHER!" he screamed, his throat raw, tears pooling in his eyes. He really fucking hoped wilbur didn't hear that last part.

Phil looked taken aback, he clearly wanted to say smthn, but Tommy turned and ran to his room, the last thing he heard was Techno mumbling something to Philza.
"just let me handle this."