For Better, For Worse

Chapter Thirteen

songs for this chapter:
please notice - christian leave
pluto projector - rex orange county

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Hogwarts, 1994

Draco Malfoy was a boy I had known my whole life. He was cocky, and arrogant, and utterly, completely full of himself.

Draco Malfoy was the king of our class. He smirked and winked at every girl who gave him the time of day.

Draco Malfoy was a know-it-all. He raised his hand with light in his eyes, everytime a professor asked a question, without fail.

Draco Malfoy cared deeply about appearances. He kept his hair swept back and his clothes pressed clean. He looked every bit the part of a young aristocrat— and he damn well knew it.

And he was still all of those things— and probably always will be. But somehow, now, I was noticing more.

It had started small, with the realization that while Draco Malfoy may have been stuck-up, crude, obnoxious, and extremely unpleasant— he was also a human. A horrible one, at that, but there was more to him than what I saw on the surface.

The cracks were fine. Thin lines in his mask that shined through to the real him. But they were there. And for some, rather inconvenient reason, I could see them now.

Draco Malfoy used his confidence to his advantage, masking his insecurities behind a devious smile.

Draco Malfoy answered every professor because he felt he had to, that he would be spoiling his image and letting his family down if he didn't.

He dressed to the nines so no one could see how un-put together he was on the inside. Those cracks appeared every now and again, and it made me question every bone in my body that hated him.

He had become— real. That was the best way to put it. I had rationalized his existence.

Because Draco Malfoy took his tea with two cubes of sugar and a splash of milk, and he judged anyone who drank it plain.

He alternated between sausage links and bacon on his breakfast plate every other day, because he could never quite decide which he preferred.

Draco Malfoy looked over everyone's essays, and always gave them notes. He would bitch and moan about it, and never let you forget he helped, but he would take it seriously and you could be damned sure you'd get perfect marks.

Draco Malfoy stayed up late to make sure his roommates were all accounted for. Theo says if he ever comes back to the dorm late, Malfoy's always there, sitting up in bed and staring blankly at the door.

He would stare at Theo, give him a nod, and then tuck into bed with no further acknowledgment.

Draco Malfoy was an arrogant arsehole, but somewhere deep down, he had a heart. No matter how hard he tried to hide it.

And it drove me absolutely, fucking insane that I was starting to see him like that. To humanize him. Ever since I stepped into Malfoy Manor for our traditional end of summer meal, I couldn't get him out of my head. I couldn't stop thinking about how his jaw had thinned, how much taller he'd gotten, how his hair had grown out.

How he smiled down at his plate when I snapped back at my parents, and tried to hide that he was amused.

Merlin, it was fucking torture.