For Better, For Worse

Chapter Sixteen

songs for this chapter:
bad idea! - girl in red
lemons (demo) - dodie

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October 9th, 1996

"Anyways, his mum sent him this hilarious letter— said it was horribly improper for him to go with the Pansy because of this whole betrothal nonsense. Don't worry, I shut down the idea of him going with me immediately— because it's completely absurd! Right? But I will have to take some photos with him, to appease Narcissa, you'll just have to miss out on me for a few minutes here or there, is that okay?"

I let it all out in one breath, speaking frantically and keeping my eyes on the star charts we're revising in Divination. I pretend I'm speaking to a blank wall, not my...

Not Blaise, sitting next to me.

When it's not used to spite Malfoy, the word 'boyfriend' to refer to Blaise feels odd on my tongue. It's because new, I suppose, that must be it.

I turn my head to him cautiously, twisting the edge of my robes between my fingers as I observe his face.

He furrows his brow for a moment, his eyes steady on me and his half-completed chart abandoned on the small table in front of him. He swallows, softens his expression, and then nods.

"Of course." He smiles weakly, turning back to his parchment, "If it's necessary."

"It is," I say quickly, a little too enthusiastically for my taste.

His head snaps back up, eyes slightly narrowed at me. "And he asked you to go with him?"

"Not legitimately." I stress again, "Out of necessity, as you said."

"Right, necessity." Blaise nods his head firmly, tapping his quill against his chart while staring me down. His jaws tightens for a moment, and I almost think he'll say something else— then he sighs with a shake of his head and goes back to work.

He starts to work hastily, the ink blotting as he stabs at the parchment

"Fortunately your parents aren't as overbearing as his. Couldn't imagine if your mum had sent you a letter like that." He raises his eyebrow, dragging his quill across his chart from his moon in Aquarius to the Jove's Bird symbol representing his Jupiter in Virgo. I note the meanings. His emotional self is observant. He finds understanding through careful thought, making speaking about Malfoy all that more difficult.

"Oh well, they don't—" I stop myself, switching my head back to my chart. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My parents don't know a thing about Blaise and me— they'd murder me if they did.

"They don't... what?" He circles his quill and drags his line down beneath it before tracing a 'u' shaped crown atop. Mercury in Virgo. How he communicates, how he thinks, how he processes information. Indicates a tendency to overanalyze— to nitpick and point out what's wrong rather than what's right. He's precise and diligent— painfully thorough.

Can't ever let anything go.

"Well... I... Hm." I clear my throat, setting my quill down lightly. "I haven't exactly told them I was— seeing anyone." I hesitate and look toward him for a split second. His lips twitch. "Mum would be— furious, to say the least."

"They'd make you go with him, you mean?"

"Most likely, yes." I nod slowly, wringing my fingers together in my lap. This is shit. This situation is absolute shit.

"Right." Blaise sighs, and I can hear him sink back into the deep maroon armchair he's inhabiting. "And would you?"

"Out of necessity—"