7 months ago...

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Seven months. It had been seven months since Spencer died. Seven months since the love of your life was ripped away from you. You were 36 weeks pregnant and getting closer to full term. Going back to work and living a normal life began to feel easier. But once you had alone time the fear and hole in your heart was getting worse and worse. Having a baby terrified you and now that you had to do it alone it scared you half to death. You had no clue how you were going to do this without Spencer. You wanted to rip Cat Adams to shreds for destroying your future. All you wanted to do was find her and destroy her the same way that she destroyed you. 

You were sitting on a bench at a park. No clue why you were there but it seemed fit considering you would start going there more often. You enjoyed the breeze and the smell of the fresh cut grass filling your lungs. There was a buzz in your pocket. You pulled out your phone and answered it when you saw Hotch's name

"Hello"

"Y/n we need you back at Quantico" his voice was weary. Not his usual rushed serious tone

"Do we have a case" 

"No" there was a brief pause "There's new information on Cat"

"Wh- what is it" you felt a pit in your stomach grow

"I will tell you and the team more details when you get here"

"Bu-" you stopped talking when you realized he hung up the phone

"Great" you mumbled to yourself.

...

"Y/n honey why don't you sit" Emily insisted as she watched you pace back and fourth

"Em I can't" you bit your fingernails "I just need to know that we can find Cat and arrest her so I can finally take this weight off my shoulders" 

"Don't burn yourself out" Rossi commented from his chair

"I know I know" you sighed

You watched Hotch enter through the door. JJ following behind.

"Everyone take a seat" he stood in front of the monitor along with JJ

"Why?" you and Derek were the only ones who stood still

"Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know Spencer had lost a lot of blood after Cat shot Spencer. But the doctors were able to stabilize him."

Stabilize?

Your heart began to pump faster and his words were beginning to fade in and out. It felt like a dream. More like a nightmare. But no. His words were real. This was actually happening.

"He was airlifted from here to Bethesda under convert exfiltration. His identity was strictly need-to-know and stayed there until he was well enough to travel. He was then reassigned to Paris where he was given several identities. None of which we had access to for his security"

The room was dead silent. It was happening again. You had no control. Tears kept blurring your vision and your breathing was uneven.

"He's alive" Penelope questioned from her seat

Words finally came out of your mouth "But we buried him. I saw his casket- he-" you cut yourself off knowing that nothing else could come out of your sentence

"As I said I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me." Hotch finished talking

"Any issues? Yeah I got issues" Derek's voice was full of pain and anger. 

You glanced over at Rossi and saw his eyes widen while he looked out the door and Penelope gasped. You turned around and there he was. The man you loved. The person you thought you had lost forever was standing right there in front of you. Alive

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