Stolen Time

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Spencer decided to walk around the hospital aimlessly until he found Derek's room. He watched from a distance Derek trying to take out his IV. "I'm fine, just tell me what happened to y/n and Emily"

"Emily is stable and Y/n is in surgery. You need to lay back and get some rest" Hotch insisted

"He's right" JJ pushed his shoulders back into he bed gently.

"What the hell happened out there" Spencer urgently walked through the door

"Reid" Hotch warned but Spencer ignored him

"You said it was your fault what did you do Morgan" He began to step closer but Hotch held out his arm to stop Spencer from coming any closer

"The unsub was going to get away and I was going too fast" Derek leaned his head back into the pillows "Once I thought we were going to get him there was a sharp curve that took me by surprise and she told me to slow down and I didn't listen. Before I knew it there was a tree in front of me."

"Took you by surprise" Spencer began to raise his voice "are you kidding me, I heard her on the other end of the line yelling at you"

"I was too focused on catching him Reid, I was in my own head. I'm sorry"

"She tried warning you and if she's dead it's your fault" Spencer yelled out before turning around. His words immediately played back into his head, once again Cat Adams had succeeded to enter his mind. He had basically repeated the same words she told him to Derek.

A doctor appeared in the doorway. "All of you are with Y/n Y/l/n?"

"Yes"

"She is still in surgery but she's in poor condition. I need to warn all of you to prepare your selfs for the worst. She has already crashed twice and if she does make it through surgery, I am very concerned about infection. Her body might not be able to handle it"

Everyone just stared at the doctor. He took the silence as a sign to slowly exit.

"Spencer she's a strong girl" Rossi spoke up "She will be fine"

Spencer couldn't look at anyone. He slowly walked away to avoid everyone's stares. Spencer was leaning against a wall when Hotch found him.

"Deputies found the unsub soon after we found Y/n and Derek. It looks like he also swerved off the road but his injuries were minor"

Spencer turned his head and began to walk but Hotch stopped him "You are not going to find him"

"He almost killed Y/n" Spencer shot back and clenched his jaw

"What are you going to do if you see him"

Spencer yanked his arm out of Hotch's grasp and attempted to fix his tie.

Hotch looked down the hall then back to Spencer "I need you to go talk to the sheriff and tell him what happened"

"Any one else can do that"

"Well you are going to do it"

Spencer stood straight and took a step closer "What your punishing me now"

"No I'm using you. Three of my agents are down, I have a lot to do and I need your help. Look at yourself you need a distraction"

Spencer didn't say anything. He simply walked away.

For the next hour all Spencer did was pace back and fourth. He couldn't find any peace with anything. Until he found his way back to Derek's room.

"I'm sorry" Spencer walked in and sat besides Derek's bed

"Don't be man, it is my fault"

"No it's not, you were doing your job, it could've happened to any of us"

"I should have listened" Derek shook his head

"Don't beat yourself up, it's a part of the job and I'm just scared "Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed "So I say stupid things to my friends who don't deserve it"

"It's okay"

...

Penelope had come and she was sitting with Derek in his room while JJ was with Emily. Hotch, Rossi and Spencer were just sitting in the waiting room. Everyone was waiting for news on Y/n and Spencer couldn't wait any longer. His leg was bouncing up and down and he kept rubbing his palms into his eyes. A habit that he wanted to break but couldn't.

"Y/n Y/ln"

The three men stood up and walked over to the Doctor.

"Y/n is in stable condition and is asleep in post-op"

"That's great"

"Yes but we still won't know about any neural deficits until she wakes up"

Spencer let go of the breath he was holding in and smiled. "Can we see her"

"Of course, follow me"

Spencer turned towards Hotch

"You go, we can wait"

Spencer nodded and followed him to Y/n. Spencer was left alone in the room. Spencer could hear her shallow breathing and saw the peacefulness in her face. There were scratches around her arms and the wound on her head was bandaged. She had an IV put in at her hand and Spencer could see the cuts around her fingertips from trying to find something to hold on to as she fell.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and walked over to her. He gently picked up her hand and rubbed small circles with his thumb.

"I don't know if you can hear me but I just want you to know that I'm afraid of losing you. I know that I can't take back what I did to hurt you but I can't handle the thought of you not being by my side. I don't know who I am in this world if I can't love you unconditionally." Spencer sniffled and his voice was breaking "No one has ever brought me so much happiness in my life. When I'm with you I can feel it. I feel happy. And I look at you and I'm home. You are my home. So please wake up"

After a couple of minuets of silence. Spencer heard a faint groan coming from Y/n. And she opened her eyes.

"Y/n" he smiled

"Who are you" she cleared her throat and looked at him surprised. Spencer's face dropped and he let go of her hand. A small smile appeared on her face "I'm kidding"

Spencer's smile returned. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and whispered "Not funny"

"Whoops" she reached for his hand again

In this moment he felt like she heard every word he said but he had to ask "Do you remember anything from the ambulance or before waking up"

His heart dropped when she said "No if I said something ridiculous I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Spencer felt like it was probably for the best that she didn't hear him. He didn't want to risk hurting her again

...

"You are good to go" the nursed smiled at you and wrote something down "Here is a prescription for some narcotics"

"Oh no it's okay" you looked up at Spencer then back to the nurse

"Well just in case" she handed you the paper and walked away

"You need to stop doing things for me, I don't deserve it" you looked back up at Spencer

"What do you mean" you began to fidget with your hospital gown

"Y/n you are going to be in a lot of pain. I have enough self control."

"Are you sure" you didn't want to be the cause to a relapse or something worse. Even in your worst state you couldn't help to stop and think about Spencer

"Yes. Now let me get you some clothes. It's time to go home" he walked out of your room

"Home" you whispered to your self