Chapter Forty-Nine

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Charlie's eyes start to open but not for long. They open, close, open, close, until he's too tired to keep doing it. But he can hear her, he can sense her. He knows she's beside him and he wishes he can squeeze his fingers into hers to let her know that he can hear her.

"I want to read you something," he hears her say. "Remember when we had to write those apology notes in health class? Well, I chose you and I want to read my apology to you. I don't know if you can hear me but I somehow sense that you can."

He wants to nod but he's too weak. His eyes try to open again and he catches a glimpse of her sad and still face looking down at a piece of paper. He knows he's in the hospital, he's starting to remember what happened clearly. He's out there. He has to tell her, she has to know, how does he tell her?

Come on, Charlie, his minds screams at him. Move!

"I'm sorry," Molly says. "I'm sorry that you were the one that saw me that night. I'm sorry that I let you into such a dark world that you shouldn't have ever seen. I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough to tell you everything that I should have said that night we saw each other downtown. I'm sorry that I acted like you were nothing to me when from the very first moment you held me you became everything to me. And I'm sorry, I am so deeply sorry, for never thanking you for saving my life. I couldn't give you gratitude because I never saw it as that but you changed my whole world for the better." She pauses, and he opens his eyes again, she's wiping her tears away, choking on every word. "I never imagined we'd find each other and I was told that fate had something to do with it but it's always felt more than that. It wasn't just fate that brought you to me that night, it was a force we haven't yet given a name to. A force so strong that it remains hidden from all of us. It was like life and death were working together in that very moment, tugging at us from all angles, and we just suddenly had each other. I'm sorry that I'm a coward, that I've acted like I never saw it but I see it now, as clearly as I see you. I love you, Charlie. I always will." He watches her put the piece of paper on the windowsill behind her and she turns again, staring down at their hands. His eyes close again. "And I'm sorry that I have to leave you. You're going to wake up soon and I can't be here. He wants me to finish what I started and I have to go back there or he's going to kill you next time."

No! Charlie thinks. You can't. Look at me, please look at me.

"He's taken so much from me," Molly cries. "And he can have my life, he can have all of me, if it means that you're safe. You're going to be angry at first, it's not going to make much sense but I swear to you he will never take what we have from us. That is ours and I hope you heal too. I hope you find someone that heals you like you healed me."

What the hell is she talking about? Charlie's fingers begin to get stronger but she's already removed her hand. Why isn't she going to the police? Why isn't she getting help if he's threatened her?

"I wish I could stay with you," she says, she sounds far away. "But that future was never ours."

It's suddenly silent. He knows what she's planning to do, and he can't let her do it. He commands his body to move, to fight, just like when he was in that boxing ring, just like when he got knocked down and he didn't think he'd get back up. But he did. The pain is all over him, he's never felt this much pain. But for Molly he can endure it.

One movement at a time his limbs start to work. He opens his eyes again and he forces them to stay open even though it's torture. He takes a deep breath as he swings his leg over the hospital bed and he rips off the wires attached to his chest and wrist. There's a bag of his clothes against a wall and he clenches on his teeth as he dresses. He has no idea where his phone is, his mother probably has it. When he limps out into the hallway he sees the police at the other end with their backs to him. They're probably waiting to talk to him and although his first instinct is to go to them there's a reason that Molly hasn't. Whatever she's going to do next she wants Charlie far away from it, she wants everyone far away from it.

He holds on to the wall as he slowly makes his way down the hallway. He has to stop several times to hold his ribs, but he eventually makes it out to the waiting area and through the front doors. The darkness startles him, it's late but he doesn't know how late. He sees the lit-up bridge in the distance and he might be too late if she's driven there.

Charlie crosses many streets, almost gets run over again many times. He can't think straight or see straight and he's pretty sure he's pulled some of his stitches open. The adrenaline is keeping him standing, his need to save her is clouding every weakness within him. He's done it once; he can do it again. He just doesn't know if he's strong enough to keep her from jumping.

He reaches the bridge and it's empty, silent, eerie. He grabs onto the railing as he jogs along the sidewalk. He sees a car in the distance, her car, and he suddenly can't move. The breath in his lungs is starting to get shallow, his legs are trembling underneath him. He takes one last look at the car before he collapses to the pavement.

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