Remember This✔

Chapter Fifty

Light rain surrounds Molly's car as she parks at the side of the bridge. The last time she was here her mind was almost blank. Now it is filled with the brightest most beautiful memories of a life she wishes she could keep. Charlie's arms are the main focus of her attention, the way they wrapped around her like barriers of steel, the way his lips tasted against the sun. And then she sees him lying there, with blood all around him, she sees his still and unconscious body on the hospital bed and her tears become faster. He'll be okay, she knows that, but as long as she is alive he will always be in danger. She is no longer killing herself for her own reasons but for him. She has to do this for him. So he can have a life because he is the most important thing in her world.

She holds on to the Saint Christopher pendant as she slowly leaves her car. She stares at her hands, remembering a time long ago when he held on to them, when he promised he wouldn't let go, and since then he never did.

Her heart breaks as she glimpses a world without the two of them together. She doesn't want to die, she never wanted to die, but she needs to. It's a need she can't explain, even to herself. She wishes it could be blamed simply on depression but it's more than that, it's always been more than that.

Her mind starts playing a soft melody to comfort her and she envisions the last time they were together, when their skins touched on the bed, when the heat sparked a bonfire that sent them to another world.

All the memories come crashing back as though she's watching them on a loop. From his visits to the hospital to when he took her to the beach and they rolled in the sand. From the frenzy that began in her stomach whenever he touched her to the fireworks that exploded from her heart when they kissed. She had never given much thought to love or being in love but she can't imagine that it would ever come closer than that. Maybe that's why fate or whatever it was sent Charlie to her that night because dying without ever having the chance to feel it wouldn't have been the same.

The rain falls harder and she glances down at the water one last time, knowing that this is the only place that can save her. It's the only place that ever did. Molly readies herself to climb over but just before she does, she gasps to herself.

Molly turns her head and sees Charlie standing on the sidewalk. His hands are either side of his body and he's panting heavily as he looks at her. He looks too weak to barely stand. She hates seeing him that way. Her hands grip the wall tighter. He won't intervene this time, he knows that this is it. This is her choice, her last choice. He will either watch her die or hold her as she chooses to live. Molly holds his eyes for as long as she can and she thinks they're as teary as hers are. She's never seen Charlie cry, it's an experience that shocks her. She looks back to the wall and places pressure down as she almost jumps it. Almost.

"Remember this, Moll. For every fear we have there is a courage we haven't yet used. If there comes a time when all you have is fear then courage will always be available too. Choose it, find it, and bathe in it. Find the courage to live. To fight."

Molly closes her eyes. "Savannah?"

"We will always be there," her sister whispers into her head. "We never left. You are stronger than me, Molly, you always have been. I was at your side every step of the way, I held your hand when you couldn't feel it and now you don't need me anymore."

"I can't," Molly cries quietly.

"You can. Open your eyes, Moll." Molly opens her eyes slowly. She sees her sister over the wall, she doesn't know how but she's a beautiful glow of light and wisdom as she hovers above the water. Her hair is as dark as Molly remembers and her eyes are flashing so blue that they're like beams, shedding colour over the darkness. "Look at him."