Remember This✔

Chapter Six

After school has finally ended Molly is picked up by Pam and is driven across town for her counselling appointment. Molly has been in therapy for four years. In that time she has had ten different therapists. They pass Molly's notes along as though she is a sold animal. Each new therapist knows of her history before Molly has even stepped through the door. They know exactly what to say, exactly what not to say, and exactly how she is feeling even though they're the ones that ask it.

The only thing they don't share, what they cannot share, is what is said in the therapy sessions. And that is very little. It had taken Molly an entire year before she had spoken a word in her therapy sessions and then after the deaths of her grandparents it had taken her another year to talk about it. Her new therapist, Helen, is a replica of all the others. She's good at words but nothing ever changes.

Helen smiles at her as she enters, as always, but Molly doesn't smile back. She takes to the comfortable green, lounge chair against the wall and stares at the window. Helen is wearing her usual white suit with expensive pants and heels which makes her seem more professional than necessary. The eye-glasses around her face are rounded like the shape of onion rings and are so large that Helen's eyes look enormous.

"Hello again, Molly," Helen says as she sits on a wooden chair near her desk. "How was school?"

Molly just shrugs. "Okay I guess."

"That's good. And are you making progress with any of your classmates? You said in our last session that you hoped to make a friend."

Molly swallows down the lie before she speaks it. "Yes, I've made progress."

"Good, that's good. Is there anything you want to talk about today? Anything specific that has you worried or anxious?"

"I'm always anxious," Molly admits.

"Tell me about feeling anxious. Tell me what triggers it. What do you worry about more than anything else?"

Molly clicks her tongue across her teeth as she keeps her gaze on the window. "That he's out there. That he's watching me."

"Who, Molly?"

"The person that killed them. The monster that took my family."

"How often do you feel anxious about that?"

"Always," Molly says. "I know that he's coming for me. I can feel him. He knows where I am. The weird part is, I kind of want him to find me. What does that make me?"

"It makes you a victim of severe trauma," Helen replies. "Survivor's guilt is common in situations like this. A part of you wishes that you were there when it happened so your family didn't have to go through it without you and you didn't have to be left behind. Is it a fantasy of yours that the killer takes you, too? Because you believe you should have been his victim to begin with?"

Molly nods in shame. "I should be angry at him right? I should be blinded with rage and vengeance. Yet all I can think about is why he didn't kill me too. I should have been taken too."

"No, Molly. Your family wouldn't want that. They wouldn't have wanted you to go through that fear and pain. They would have protected you no matter what. You have so much more to give, so much more."

"The only people I have ever loved in this world are dead," Molly says numbly. "Every single one of them. I have nothing left to give anyone or anything."

"Not everything is gone. Riley isn't gone. Do you want to talk about him?"

Molly stares at her and shakes her head violently.

"Okay," Helen says. "We don't have to talk about that. What I'm interested to know is what you want for yourself."

"What do you mean?"