lost cause - tetsurou kuroo x reader

chapter 12

y/n pov
your mind was blank, it was like an empty void. however, you couldnt move, not a single muscle in your body would move. your breathing was heavy and all over the place. you could feel the cold restaurant table on your forehead and you heard a few voices around you. it sounded like a few waiters and so. kenma was holding your hand trying to reassure you that it would be ok.

"it's...ok...y/n" you heard kenma stutter and you knew he was starting to panic. you felt bad. you were here lifeless on this table and kuroo was nowhere to be found, it must have stressed kenma out a lot. you felt kenma's hand grow cold and sweaty which confirmed your thought. you couldnt move.

suddenly, it turned black, your vision and all your senses shut off. you no longer felt the table below you or kenma's hand. your body felt light but your head was heavy and throbbing. you were scared. you didnt know what was happening. you wanted to scream and call out for help but it was all within your mind, you couldnt do anything about it. 'am i going to die?' you thought and it echoed through your head.

suddenly you noticed a bright light, flash in your mind. it grew brighter and brighter and you started to squint. 'maybe i did die' you looked up towards the bright light and noticed a figure walking towards you. it looked familiar.

"kuroo?" you blinked a few times, as kuroo's face came into view. your heart raced. 'did he die too?'

you panicked. there was no way.

kuroo pov
i looked down at the dark waters below me. the view from the top of the bridge sent light chills down my back. my eyes had ran dry, there were no more tears left to cry. i felt so useless. i looked up and around me once more. the roads were empty and quiet. i gulped. there was no one to stop me and i was free to jump if i wanted to.

i squatted down and sat on the ledge, pulling out my phone wanting to send a last goodbye. i saw the missed calls and texts from kenma.

kenma: kuroo where are you ?
kenma: are you at home sleeping?
kenma: please reply when you see this
kenma: we'll figure this out ok kuroo ?
kenma: y/n will remember

i shook my head as tears formed in my eyes once more. no that was never going to happen. y/n would never remember me, i was sure of it. even though my tears had run dry, i still felt my eyes grow wet. all the water left in me was coming out, i wanted to shout and declare how much i loved
y/n. maybe then she would remember me.

it was all my fault, if i hadnt brought her out that day to play volleyball with the guys this would never have happened.

it was two months ago, when y/n and i wanted to go play a casual match at the park volleyball court. the game was so fun and y/n did so well as a liberio for the team, she received each ball so well, preventing them from ever touching the ground. we had drawn lots and i was unfortunately playing against her. it was fun though, and y/n took it as a challenge.

"our team is gonna win" she announced and i chuckled "dont count your chickens before they hatch" i laughed. the game was heated and it was filled with incredible serves, recieves and spikes. it was so fun and the energy was incredible. the rotation went on and it was soon my turn to serve.

"im gonna receive that serve so good" y/n smirked and i cackled, "no way y/n chan, not this hella good serve" i said, teasing her causing her to frown. it was a serious game now, boyfriend vs girlfriend and the other boys couldnt help but watch the match play out before them.

i tossed the ball up and jumped up, using all the strength and weight i had and channeled the velocity into my palm, before hitting the ball across the court. the ball was fast... a little too fast. i watched as y/n furrowed her eyebrows and shuffled forward towards where the ball would fall.

the ball failed to decelerate and it flew straight, hitting y/n right in the head. she fell backwards, before hearing a loud thud on her back. my eyes widened, i ran towards her unconscious body. "she's bleeding... CALL THE AMBULANCE" i shouted at the other boys and they panicked.

"y/n please wake up" i sobbed, if only i hadnt tried to show off like that, i never would have hit the ball at her head and this would never have happened and she would still remember me.

i blinked abit, releasing myself from that hellish memory. i looked up at the dark night sky and watched as the millions of stars twinkled.

"there are so many stars, i wouldnt even notice if one was gone" i said as i stared at each individual star. i stood back up, my mind was empty and my heart was in pieces. i looked down at the dark waters below me.

if y/n was happy without me, then i would leave... so she could be happy.. this life isn't worth living if y/n with me.

i looked down at the waters once more and prepared myself. this was it, this is where it ends.