brothers.

1~ Family Number 23

August 10th, 2023

The trees and houses rolled past the car window in a colorful blur, forcing my eyes to follow them left to right. I leaned in the seat, my nose taking in the familiar, minty scent of Mr. Brian's car.

"Did you sleep okay?" Mr. Brian suddenly asked me.

I thought it was weird for him to suddenly ask about my sleep like that, but I answered anyway. "Uh... yeah. I guess."

"Did you eat?"

"Mm-hmm."

"What did you eat?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Food."

A pause.

"What kind of food?"

"Why do you care?" I snapped.

Used to my usual attitude, he sighed. "Because I care."

"Whatever," was all I could say.

The car slowed to a stop at a red light. He glanced at me through the rearview mirror. "Diana, I'm trying. Okay? But if you're going to go in with that attitude-" he started.

"Who cares about my attitude? It doesn't make a difference."

"Yes, it does. I have high hopes for this family."

"Like you did for the last one? And the one before that? And the one before-"

"This one's different, I promise." A hint of desperation laced his voice.

I knew he meant well, but after trial and error for 12 years, I was getting pretty sick of the whole procedure. "You don't have to worry about my 'attitude'," I told him. "I'll smile, be polite. I'll act like you want me to. But stop trying to convince me to be optimistic."

The light turned green. He turned left towards the café.

"I'm sorry, Diana. I... I really want you to be happy is all." He chuckled humorlessly. "If I could adopt you myself, I would."

I looked at him again, this time with shock. He never said anything like that before. "You mean that?" I asked.

He parked and turned off the car. He turned to look at me from the driver's seat. "Of course I mean it. I know I've failed you time and time again, and I'm truly sorry. Unfortunately, the decisions aren't all left up to me. Just know I really am doing my best."

Mr. Brian was the caseworker I trusted the most. I was closest to him out of everyone else. But he'd never been this... open? I wasn't sure how to describe it.

I smiled a bit, genuinely. "Okay."

He smiled back at me. "Okay."

We got out of the car and headed up to the café. It wasn't common for me to meet the family before moving in with them, so I wondered how this would go.

It didn't matter how many times I'd moved, how many doors would open and reveal a new face— I was always scared. Always anticipating something bad.

22 placements in total. 11 years and 6 months since I was taken out of my aunt's and put into the system. But it felt like twice the amount.

Step one, assess their appearance.

Step two, watch their expressions.

Step three...

We entered and walked up to a booth for four. A couple sat together, talking.

"Mr. and Mrs. Field?" Mr. Brian said. Both glanced at us and rose from their seats.