brothers.

27~ Diary of a Foster Kid

Mild trigger warning: Contains mentions of self-harm. Reader discretion is advised.

Tommy

Every time I blinked, I saw her arms.

I couldn't focus all day at school. I couldn't look at Harry's eyes, because I knew I'd break. I hardly talked to anyone.

For a moment, I'd forgotten she was Diana. I saw Amy... covered in red... Then I realized... that was Diana. And... I was the cause of that.

I contributed to something so horrible, so painful... I didn't know what to think. I felt disgusted with myself. I caused so much pain to an innocent girl that suffered so much already, and I didn't care. I only cared about myself.

Even after reading her file, I couldn't be empathetic enough towards her. I didn't read the whole thing, but she'd gone through a lot. And that wasn't enough to stop me from being so horrible.

She'd quit. Now she started again. All because of us. Because of me.

"TOMMY! Are you listening to me?!"

My eyes met Shirley's. I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "Yeah."

"What is wrong with you? You've been blanking out all day." She pointed at her notebook. "For the last time, do you know the answer to this?"

I blankly stared at the math problem. "Uh... I dunno."

She huffed and erased what she wrote. "You're no help."

"Shirley, I don't take AP Calculus, remember?"

"Still, you're good at these things." She glanced at me as she wiped the eraser dust off her paper. "What's going on with you? What's on your mind?"

"A lot of things."

"It better not be-"

"No, it's not another girl." My temper flared, but I kept it in check.

"Just saying," she muttered.

I checked my phone. I still had 20 minutes left of my free period. Never thought I'd want class to start so desperately. I wished we were out in the common study room instead of the private one. It would've been more bearable having other people around. It would've toned her down.

"That prank was over-the-top. That Diana girl is... whew." Her pencil softly scribbled. "I don't know how you live with her issues."

"Hey, it's not her fault." I frowned. "She's just gone through a lot. Plus, I deserved it for being such a jerk to her."

"Since when are you so defensive about her?"

"I'm not being defensive. I just think you shouldn't talk about her like that."

"Like how? I'm just saying the truth," she scoffed. "I'mma be honest, I think she's doing it for attention. Lots of people fake mental health stuff for clout. She probably does it so people can feel sorry for her. No one acts that crazy in real life."

My toes clenched. I closed my eyes as a headache came on. I always had a headache talking to Shirley.

And once again, yesterday's image projected in my mind's eye.

I could feel Amy's anger. Her rage... her disappointment. How ashamed she felt of me. Of us.

"If it's legit, then she needs serious help," I vaguely heard Shirley say. "Probably wind up like that girl from The Tapes."

The comment made me bristle. "Shirley, seriously?"

"What?"

"Are you seriously that ignorant?"