brothers.

20~ Doppelganger

Diana

09.16.23

Dear Diary, I've gotten that feeling back. It's that one when I feel really... empty. Every day seems like a blur. It's like the world is gray and dull and boring. At school, I'm getting used to all the looks.

Thelma and the other girls have reached out to me, and Tony too, but I just don't feel like being around them. I hardly know them, and it feels awkward when they talk to me. Thelma really wants to be 'best friends', but that was 12 years ago. We're obviously not the same little girls we were.

And with the Fields, I'm mostly in my room now. I don't feel like dealing with the boys or their parents. I'm just so... tired of my life. I feel like I'm at the end of the

My phone buzzed, interrupting me. On GoodNews, Mildred had texted me.

Mildred: Hey

I sighed, not opening the message. I didn't want to talk right now.

How r u? she followed.

I swiped the alerts away. It was exhausting talking to people. It was nice of them to try and care, but eventually, they'd probably get tired of me. I wanted to save myself the consequences of trusting and just leave it at that.

I'd given up on finding out the little 'secret'. It was obvious no one would ever tell me. They were just using it as another tool, another weapon to use against me. Maybe ignorance was bliss. Maybe knowing would make everything worse.

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair and looked around my room. It was nice. Comfy. Homey. But sooner or later, I'd be leaving it. Anytime I was given something good, it would be snatched away later on. I was better off not receiving anything at all.

What was the point? Why would I hope for something better? I was surprised that I trusted the Fields to be a 'good' family. After so many placements, I should've been a lot more cynical.

There was some kind of curse on me. Somehow, in some way, I hurt people around me. I instilled hate in everyone I met. Maybe I did or said stuff that made me deserve everything. There just... had to be something wrong with me.

There was plenty wrong with me, but since my parents died, it was like I became the scum of the earth to everyone else. What was it? What was so repulsive about me? Did someone put a hex on my name?

No point in wondering. I wouldn't be able to change anything. Sometimes I felt like disappearing was the best I could do for the world.

Someone knocked on my door, interrupting my thoughts. "Come in," I said.

Harry peeked in, smiling thinly. "Hey. Um... are you busy?"

My brows knitted. "No? What do you need?" A bit of contempt snuck into my voice, expecting another chore.

"Great. Uh..." He put his hands in his pockets and glanced behind him. "Could you... come with me? I need to talk to you."

My heart skipped a beat as my body stiffened. "... Sure." I turned off my lamp and closed my diary, stuffing it in my old backpack. I'd made the mistake of leaving it open way too many times in the past.

"Let's go." He led me out into the hall. I thought he wanted to chat in his room, but he surprised me when he took a key out of his pocket and went to the attic door.

"Where are we going?" I asked suspiciously. My foot shifted into a defensive stance.

He looked at me. "I've wanted to tell you this for a long time. The whole family needed to tell you since the beginning. But it's too difficult to put into words." He opened the door fully. "I'm sorry. About everything. For being so mean to you, for not telling you... everything."