brothers.

36~ Genuine

Diana

October 28th, 2023

Saturday. A day of freedom for most. For me, it was a day of staring at the ceiling.

Improvement was an illusion. That was what I discovered the past week. No matter what I did, what I tried to do, nothing would ever get better. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

I could block everyone out of my life, let them into my life... none of that would make a difference. It would never change anything or make anything better. This feeling would remain.

I turned my head, eyeing my prescribed antidepressants on my side table. I scoffed. What useless things.

They would come of use soon... very soon. But not just yet.

I didn't know what was keeping me here. There was something... maybe I still had that ridiculous, naïve hope of everything getting brighter and happier. I still held on to that unattainable dream. And yes, there would be moments when I felt happy and comfortable, feeling like maybe life was worth it... only for something else to slam into me and prove me wrong.

I was so... tired. I wanted to sleep... and never wake up.

Briefly, I checked FamiliarFaces. All my friends' pages were filled with pictures of Homecoming— except for Tony's, strangely. Thelma, Kate, and Mildred were posing together in a selfie, looking gorgeous in their dresses. I sighed, putting the phone down.

"Aren't you going to do something?" Ms. Howells asked, looking at her phone.

Her voice alone irritated me. I didn't know why she was here on a weekend. It was like she couldn't stand not having complete control of my life.

"Like what?" I said.

"Anything of interest to you. Or your homework."

"I don't feel like it."

"You're just going to lie there?"

"Yeah. That's what I want to do. Lie here and not think. So let me be."

"Your defiance is getting out of hand," she warned.

"Oh, what are you going to do? Put me in a hospital?" I looked at her challengingly. "I don't care. Do what you want. Not like I can fight back."

A knock sounded, thankfully. "Diana?" I lifted my head, seeing Davis staring back at me. "Your friends are here."

"My friends?"

"I don't remember their names." He chuckled sheepishly. "But they want to see you."

Hesitantly, I rose from the bed. What were they doing here? Ms. Howells followed close behind as we went downstairs.

Mildred, Thelma, Kate, Blanche, and Alma all stood in the foyer, talking to Susan, Kyle, and Jack. Alma had a backpack on. Thelma smiled when she saw me, nudging the others. They seemed a bit curious at Ms. Howells' presence, but didn't ask any questions.

What were Blanche and Alma doing here? And why were they dressed so fancy? And Mildred, Thelma, Kate... they were wearing their dresses? From Homecoming?

"Hey, guys..." I patted my hair down self-consciously. They all looked so gorgeous, and here I was in dirty sweats and an oversized hoodie— oversized because I stole it from Jack. My hair was probably like a bird's nest and my face was as unattractive as usual.

"Hey," Thelma drew out, hugging me.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Hey, that's my shirt. Why are you wearing my shirt?" Jack pointed at me.