𝐆𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐞𝐫

29.

Today was the day Id go to get an abortion and Kentrell was on his way to pick me up.

I felt at peace knowing this whole pregnancy situation would be over and moved on with, just wished I could take back how it got here in the first place. I thanked Kentrell over text once again for not judging me, that's one thing I could say about him is he never seemed to put me down or hurt my feelings, not intentionally. So I got ready for him to pick me up 'bummy' but I was ready, I figured it wasn't a special event or anything so why do the most, I was pretty comfortable with him by now.

I made 4 omelettes, one for Amara, one for Taya, one for Kentrell when he got here and one for myself. I ate mine before he'd arrive, and ironically there was a knock on the door, I gave both the girls a look before Id go get it. I was pretty sure they wouldn't make any moves on him but embarrass me? They didn't mind, atleast Amara didn't. "Girl what?" She remarked watching me go to answer it and I smiled seeing Kentrell with a pandora bag in hand and greeted me with a head nod, "Wassam Brandi," "Hey— Kentrell I keep telling you there's no need to go out of your way for all these gifts...Thankyou." I took it from him not denying a smile.

"You act like Im broke ah somethin..." He said shaking his head.

I turned around to lead him to the kitchen and he pulled me back by my sweatpants into a hug from behind, he must have forgot about that whole Kay girl huh..."You can't hug me no more?" He asked holding onto me tightly as I walked us both into the kitchen trying to pull away, he let go seeing the girls on the couch of course trying to hide the fact they were staring. "Well...Thats a conversation for the car," He screwed his face once I said that, "I made you breakfast hopefully you didn't have anything to eat yet." I said sliding the plate and he took a seat at the high chair taking it, "Thankyou," he said and I smiled.

It was so attractive when he was mannered and polite, something about the unexpected was cute to me. I watched him fork at it and turned around to make him a glass of orange juice to go with it, "You nervous?" He asked and I set both the glass and jug on the counter top screwing it open, "Not really, Im pretty sure Ill be sedated." He jocked his head back and I slid the glass over to him, "What that mean?"
"Like— I could be calm or sleep." He nodded.

"So whats fame like?" Amara asked and I sighed, "Im sorry about her..."

"You good," He laughed to me, "Shit aggravating as the fuck...It feel like you gotta supervise everythang you do," He said and I could tell he was passionate about it, I was completely aware he was allowed to talk to my friends and they could talk to him, call me bitter, jealous, controlling, or toxic but I didn't want Amara or Taya around him not for one second. They were my homegirls I loved them but they were both boy crazy, Amara had a history both me and Taya knew of having sex with almost anyones man and it wouldn't be the first time Taya chose dick over her friends.

I convinced myself I was overreacting and let the two talk but every second of it irritated me, Taya minded her buisness listening aswell, I trusted her a bit more. "Okay I think we're gonna get going now," I smiled moving my hair and the two looked to me, "Damn yall got like 20 minut—" "I mean I wanted to run to the store anyway if that's alright with you Trell," I looked to him and Amara looked to him then Taya and back to me, he looked to the table then me. I figured they caught on to my behavior, I didn't intend on it but so be it, "Ite cmon," he stood up leaving a half eaten omelette and I followed him on the way out the door and to the car.

"It's Trell again?" He asked and I looked to my shoes, "Never wasn't," I simply said.

He looked to me coming to open my door for me, "You playin wit me na..." He said and I jocked my head back sitting down watching him go toward the drivers seat and get in, "Kentrell how am I playing with you?" "Why you bein back and forth, that shit startin ta confuse me," "Who said I was going back to anything, I left since that girl Kay made her pregnancy announcement and its been that since then." I said and the car got silent, I realized how harsh what I said was the moment Id pressed my lips closed and my regret was just as visible as his blank slated face.

He didn't say anything, just started the car up and drove off. I looked out the window the entire ride to a Cvs trying to think up what I was gonna even get since I didn't even need anything, I kept replaying the moment Id spoke at the counter and how it led up to this over and over. He seemed bothered parking the car and I undid my seatbelt getting out and we made our way inside, I was a few steps ahead from him and once I got in I simply grabbed whatever came to mind and ended up with laundry detergent, lip liner, and lipgloss.

Once we got up to the register Kentrell went for his wallet but I made sure to quickly pull my card out handing it to the lady, he once again looked at me. I just kept making things worse and worse, I breathed out watching her swipe it and him put his wallet back out my peripheral. She bagged my things and handed them to me and we were on our way to the abortion clinic. Kentrell actually stayed in the car, he gave me both his card and a few bills incase they only took one and I thanked him going inside, I could see the irritation and doubt in his eyes anytime I looked at him and it worried me.

I never wanted to be in the position of those females I once called 'dumb' for being with him, but I didn't feel too good about us right now. I was used to feeling like he was happy with me, like I didn't have anything to worry about, I was that girl he'd been looking for, I was here to stay. But I felt like I lost alot of that today and the worst part is Kentrell wasn't patient, if he didn't like a girl she'd be replaced in a few days, especially with me not being there with him I worried he'd get rid of me. I still didn't understand how I ever got in this position.

...

Once the process was all finished the ride was just as silent as earlier, once we got back to my place he parked waiting on me to get out and I sighed looking over to him, "Im sorry."

"Whatchu sorry about?"

I breathed out sticking my tongue around my mouth, "Kentrell..." He looked to me and I nodded realizing Id have to apologize sincerely, it made me think of how dumb Id look apologizing in the first place, "I know I can say some pretty hurtful things at times but— I promise I didn't mean how it came out...Any of those times Ive slipped up." He didn't do anything but raise his eyebrows sitting back against the seat, "I wouldn't ever hurt you on purpose...I was mad, I can say some pretty outlandish things when Im mad..."

"That aint what I wanted to know earlier Brandi."

I looked to him for a moment, "What did you want to know?"

"I told you you confusin me, I wanna know what we on," He looked to me, "You still my girl?" Kentrell was a bold person, he meant what he said and he was never scared to show or speak it. I was confused myself, scared, its probably why my heart began to thud so fast.