Kentrell got his personal chef to cook a meal for us but I had no appetite, even though I could have just said something then and there or just got an abortion I felt guilty. I could barely even look him in the eye, we upstairs in his tv room on the couch and I cuddled up next to the arm rest on the opposite side of him staring at the tv. "You not hungry?" He asked wrapping the fettuccine around his fork and I shook my head, "No not really," he didnt eat it instead he just looked at it, "You aint had nothin since this mornin, its 6." I shrugged keeping my eyes on the tv but once he looked over to me it got harder to fake my being okay.
"I guess its just some weird pregnancy apetite or something." I said talking over my growling stomach.
"But yo stomach growlin and you not hungry?"
"Its my apetite Kentrell."
"Outta all my baby mamas aint nobody lost they apetite while they stomach growlin."
"Well I guess Im just different..." I said turning away.
He placed the fork down and the sound of clashing made me jump, "You actin weird today." I shrugged leaning back into the couch, "I guess I'm just tired." He nodded picking the plate up, I guess he wasn't hungry either. I honestly just hoped I wasn't making him upset, that was the last thing I'd wanna do, "So if you tired then go to sleep." He said going downstairs with it and I nodded finding a comftorable position to sleep in, despite the somewhat tiredness I felt I couldn't sleep.
I layed there fighting myself for what felt like forever and once Kentrell got back upstairs I just decided to fake it, I heard him walking around the room for a minute and the tv turned off, I heard him on the phone with who I thought was Three and Ben and eavesdropped on their conversation for a moment.
"She sleep," Kentrell said.
"What she takin a nap ah somethin?"
"It's alot goin on, she had woke me up earlier throwin up. It turned out I got her pregnant."
"Pregnant?!" Ben and Three both replied, "She gone make her get rid of it?"
I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Nah, she the one tryna get an abortion but Ian havin that shit."
"Critiques gone be on yo ass dude." Three said and it made me give a side smile.
"Ion give a fuck about none of that, Its somethin different about her that I like, She not just finna up and leave me through the night. Holon."
I didn't understand what he meant but I stayed still hearing his footsteps near me and soon enough he picked me up with a groan making me furrow my eyebrows because I know damn well he wasn't struggling, he carried me to the bedroom and tucked me into the bed. A bit upset I could no longer hear them once he closed the door, but I still got happy that I could finally go to sleep now. The first time I woke up it was a bit darker and I could hear the slight sound of music playing but I shrugged it off and went back to sleep.
The second time I woke up to the door opening, Kentrell mumbling to himself and turning the light on, "Brandi." He said strictly making me furrow my eyebrows as I sat up squinting, he threw my own phone at me and I jumped. "So what the fuck is that?" He asked and I picked it up furrowing my eyebrows trying to figure out what was going on, it was just some angry girl talking about her boyfriend cheating on her. "I dont know...Who even is this?" I said and he got closer to me making me look up a bit nervous now.
"If that aint my baby why you aint fuckin tell me?"
My heart skipped a beat, "What!?" I took a second look at the photo, it was a girl accusing me of sleeping with her boyfriend, a picture of me on the left in comparison to me and Kentrell in the gas station from yesterday. She went on about how she found out her boyfriend got me pregnant and I now recognized the face of the man I saw the day at the party in the top right corner.
"Kentrell no— thats not what happened."
"Get up." He simply said turning around.
I could tell he was pissed, he was the type to let his sadness boil into anger. "Kentrell listen its not what you think..." I said sitting up, he turned back around now grabbing my arm and yanking me up out the bed. I knew what I heard about him and I couldn't let it happen to me, I shielded myself knowing what to expect and stepped back away from him. "WAIT! Kentrell please!" Its like he blew smoke through his nostrils, I looked up to him and his expression said it all. He held a finger close to my face and walked up closer to me. "You got one second to explain what the fuck happened wit that nigga then what you can do is grab yo phone, clear that shit up and then get the fuck outta my place."
I was hurt hearing and seeing him yell in my face like that, hurt over a man I told myself the day I met him I wouldnt, couldnt take serious. But for some reason I was, "Okay its— my friends threw me a party and...I got drunk I dont ever drink," He stared at me, I could feel his judgement through his silence.
"And this guy, he was huge...I couldnt stop him. He took me to the bathroom and— I tried to tell him I promise I did." I could feel a burning sensation in my throat as I tried to explain and felt warm tears drop down my cheeks.
He tilted his head looking at me for a moment, I could see he'd calmed down.
"He raped you." He restated calmly.
I nodded trying to fix myself up from breaking down then and there.
"That's why you wanted an abortion?"
I nodded once again, "Cmea." He said and I walked into his hug, he brought me to sit on the bed and I cried silently in his arms, "You ain gotta be scared to tell me no shit like this, that aint yo fault..."
"I thought you'd be mad," I uttered out holding him tighter, it felt good to finally release it all. "I am, not at you, I'm mad at the fact that nigga got his hands on you but ima keep it cool." "I should have stayed with you the rest of your tour..." He shook his head, "Quit blamin yo self, Ian blamin you. Ima take you to get an abortion and we gone clear this shit up so dont nobody know about it."
"But what about pressing charges?"
He shook his head, "Nah look I got some people for him, we gone move in silence." I furrowed my eyebrows but I knew he would take care of it in his own way, "Thats why you been avoidin me?"
I shrugged, "I guess..." "If Im makin you feel any kinda way you gotta let me know," I nodded,
"Look," He said and I did as he said looking up at him. He wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed my forhead.
"I think..." I got ready to say it before giving up and looking back down.
"You think what?"
"Nevermind, it's not important."
"If you thinkin bout it then it is."
"...I think I love you."
He looked up and I felt like I messed up saying it, I just sat there silent and began to play with my nails. Just as I could feel things getting awkward he broke the silence, "I love you too."
Ikkk its early but 😛im feeling it. And go stream what that speed bout😍😍
