Chapter 1

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Mondays suck, Gerard thinks when he opens his eyes at six in the morning.

He has three classes, and then has to work at the cafe. If he's lucky, he'll have time to go to the library and finish his assignments.

By the time he gets out of his Digital Illustration class, it's pouring outside, and he barely makes it to the cafeteria, his clothes all wet. He finds the table by the far corner, and takes out an apple form his bag, as well as his sketchbook, and tries to finish what he was working on the night before. He only as an hour before getting to his next class, but he's just not in the mood. He might skip it all together.

He doesn't know what's the fucking point of it all.

He's failing half his classes. His friend from his Dungeons & Dragons group barely talk to him anymore. He hasn't seen his brother or his parents in a while and he's sure they don't miss him since they haven't called.

And he's just not inspired anymore.

He feels like a big joke. Not sure if this is what he likes anymore. But he doesn't know what he likes then. He just hasn't given up because then, he'll have nothing.

He feels empty.

He can't draw or paint anymore.

How is he supposed to be an art major is he can't make art?

Then what is the point of continuing?

Maybe he just quit everything. School, work –

Life.

He doesn't even know why he's just feeling like shit out of nowhere. But it's been a couple days since he started to feel like this.

And now he's standing in middle of the social studies quad, under the rain, not sure how he ended up there. 'Dude!' someone calls him. 'What are you doing here?' He feels someone's hands drag him back to the cafeteria, and he's shivering, and he's aware of everything around him now. 'I'm fine,' he says, and just walks back to his dorm in the middle of a storm.

He doesn't even turn on the lights, and just changes into his sweatpants and a hoodie before getting in bed.

One, two, three – he counts to twenty, taking deep breaths just like his therapist suggested. But the anxiety won't leave. It's going to be one of those days.

He doesn't even know when he fell asleep, but the lights go on and Ray is walking in the room. 'Dude! You're supposed to be at the café in ten minutes!' he says and throws a pillow at him. 'I already risked my ass to get you that job. Don't fucking waste it!'

'Mmmhm,' Gerard mumbles, but doesn't get up. 'I think I'm sick.'

'Bullshit.'

'I had to walk in the rain –'

'I don't care. You don't get sick that fast. Move your ass and get to work.'

He knows Ray won't shut up until he does. That's what he doesn't like about working with his roommate. Maybe he can just fake a cough at work and they'll send him home.

He puts on his jeans and the black shirt he uses as uniform, and follows Ray outside. The café is on the other side of campus, next to the library, so it takes them a while to cross the main quad, and they're ten minutes late.

'What the hell, guys?' their boss, Adam, says. 'We're short staffed!'

'Sorry,' Ray apologizes for the both of them. 'Something came up.'

Adam is too frustrated to ask, so he keeps making sandwiches while the other two put on their aprons and get in their positions. Ray is on barista slash cashier duty, and Gerard makes the sandwiches and snacks, while Adam goes to the back to do the important stuff.

And for a while, everything seems okay. Gerard focuses on his job, trying to keep everything else out of his mind. He even gives a free cookie to one or two customers because they're nice to him.

Fortunately, three hours later, they're closing, and since Adam is the master at that, it only takes them twenty minutes to close.

He's tired and wants to go to bed, but he has a project to submit the next morning, and as much as he hates everything now, he can't ruin his classmates' grades, so he has to finish his panels so the next person does the colors.

So he goes to the library to work. It's peaceful and Ray won't give him shit for having his light on. It's almost ten p.m. so it's almost empty, except for a couple students in the second floor, clearly having the same idea than Gerard. He sits at one end of a big table, and takes out his art supplies.

It's going to be a long night.

***

Ethics sucks, Frank thinks biting his pen.

He already finished his paper the night before, but the professor keeps going on and on about the same thing. He just can't listen to the same lecture all over again just because some of his classmates are stupid and they need more time to understand the basics of ethics.

So he takes out his notes for his English composition class out, and starts working on his essay instead. He's supposed to compare a classic of literature with a novel released recently. So he goes for Dracula and a It. He's read both many times, so he has no problem.

'Hey,' someone calls him from behind. When he turns around, he sees this blonde girl smiling at him, and he knows she wants something. Women – or anyone, for that matter – don't just talk to him to be nice. Which is good because he's not good at socializing either. And ever since first grade, his classmates only wanted one thing from him. 'Can you write this essay for me, please?' the girl says in an attempt to flirt. If she only knew that she's not his type and he's not remotely interested in even talking to her.

'No,' he says in a shaky voice, fixing his glasses and goes back to his own essay.

He can hear the girl talking to her friend, but he doesn't care.

He's doesn't help people cheat.

And he also doesn't want to talk to them.

Not to be mean, they just scare him.

He's spent all his life with a book in his hands, reading, learning, that he doesn't really know how to interact with other humans.

His mom thought for the longest time that he might have something more serious, and he's still not sure. That's why he took psychology as one of his majors, but it only made him more scared of people.

And sometimes he craves that. A friend. Someone to talk to. Someone with the same interests. But every time he tries, they just take advantage of him or just forget about him.

So he sticks to books.

He's halfway done with his essay when the lecture ends and he has to walk to his Intro to Psychology class, under the rain, and hope he's not late. It's one of his favorite classes so far and the one where he always learns something new and interesting.

He stops at the cafeteria for some soup and crackers and studies for his Algebra test. He loves math, but still not sure why it's required on his first year if he's a psychology and English literature major.

He knows he's lucky to have a full scholarship – even though he worked hard for it –, and not having to work to pay for either tuition or living. Especially with all his classes and his assignments. And he still has the money his dad sends him for food and other stuff he might need.

So after a quick nap, he goes to the library to do some research on his psychology paper.

It's always empty this late. That's why he likes it. Just people who actually enjoy being in a library are there. He sees the girl who always sits by the corner reading young adult novels. And the couple just a few tables away who help each other with their homework.

And for the past couple days, there's a guy sitting at the other end of the table, hiding himself inside his hoodie, and drawing something.

Frank sits with a huge encyclopedia and a notebook in front of him, taking a look at the guy, and then goes back to what he was doing.

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