Do you take thee...?

She

'Excuse me, Dr Shepherd!' was yelled from down the hallway. I thought it had come out of my mouth since it was exactly what I wanted to say yet someone took the words right from my mouth. Both myself and him turned straight around to see who it was making such an entrance. I was so infuriated by him and urged so desperately to speak to him that I shouted back in synchronization with Derek, 'What?!?!?!?' 

I swung my head back around after realising that Derek had answered straight away. Derek's response was more delicate than mine. Spoken in a more gentle, polite tone. Obviously thinking it was me shouting him since he had so carefully kissed my cheek moments before and his mood must have carried through to his response. Once I had shouted back, I immediately regretted it since I knew the outcome of an intern shouting at an attending. Everyone in the hallway had become stationary and was now focused on the behaviour from myself. My anger had suddenly risen once again after I saw Dr Mei stood down the space from me. It now went Mei, Me, Derek. I was stuck in the middle of the situation I couldn't stand to be in. Next thing I knew, the chief was shouting my name from the other side of the hallway past Derek. I was in for one now. I was shitting it that I was now most likely in trouble with the chief and Mei but deep down I was more relieved that I had been taken out of the position I was previously in. As I moved Derek out of my eyesight to see who was ordering me, my heart started racing. Dr Webber was stood at the end with that stern look on his face that he did to let people know they were in trouble. Once he had seen my face and knew that I knew I was in trouble her turned around certain that I would follow him and that I did. I had to walk past Derek who as I moved past him, let his hand brush past mine ever so slightly, just enough so that the encounter was enough that would only be known to me and him. I didn't make any eye contact whatsoever although I could feel his blue eyes following my every move.

'Meredith. What in the world was your reasoning behind causing a commotion in my  hospital? There better be a good explanation as to why you spoke to an attending in that way.'

I feel that the anger I was still feeling was the only thing stopping me from stuttering and not sticking up for myself. 

'Dr Shepherd decided to take his personal matters and ruin a surgery for me. He took me out of a surgery when I was learning and being a doctor to cater for his needs because he was angry. That is not how I wanted to be treated in this hospital. At my job.'

I didn't yell this, I just politely spoke to him but making sure my tone was still enough to make him realise how annoyed I was about the situation. If I had spoken to him the way I had Derek or Mei for that matter, I would've for sure had no job. 

'Ok. I'm going to speak to Dr Shepherd. But don't you ever speak an attending or a resident or anyone for that matter, ever again. Is that understood?'

I was sure that there would've been some sort of punishment after my mistakes but after all the man had messed up my life enough already. Derek must have followed shortly behind me when I walked off to go and speak to the chief I had noticed him lurking outside of Webber's office. For the split second that I had seen his presence, his eyes were drooped and his head was hung low. His steps small but pacing outside of the door so that he could only been seen for a millisecond through the glass pane in the door. His posture was bad and his back was arched. He looked sorry. 

As I walked out of the room after having a conversation that went much better than I had anticipated, I walked straight past him not ready to have another argument. I was done with him. At least for the day. His head rapidly raised and his hand went out to try and grab my arm as I went past. 

'Meredith, wait?'

'It's Dr Grey. You want to involve my career then call me by my professional name.'

'This isn't about your career. I need to speak...' He tried to say before I once again interrupted his words.

'I could've got fired Derek. You know that. For how I spoke to Dr Mei. For how I spoke to you. For what I did in the OR. How did this get so messed up?' By this time I was certainly trying to hold back tears although I'm almost positive that he could tell I was ready to burst. 

'Meredith, I didn't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I'm with Dr Mei. She asked me out. What was I supposed to do. Say no. We've been getting on. She's lovely. I'm going to try it. You wanted space and that's what I'm doing. I'm giving it to you and I'm letting you decide.'

'Huhh, I can't even believe you. I really can't. Go be happy. Really you should. I'm going to go and be an intern and not get mixed up in any of your messes again. Please don't follow me or talk to me or ask for me on your service. You want to give me space. Just do that.'

I was absolutely mortified. I had every emotion in my body being triggered yet I was emotionless. I didn't know what to do. Walking off was the best decision. 

5 weeks passed and fortunately I hadn't even seen him. Somehow since we are both surgeons, I hadn't seen him once. I hadn't spoke to him. Heard about him or even mentioned him except when I was filling Cristina in on the situation. Even though I had told her every single detail the one thing she couldn't believe was that we hadn't had sex or even kissed. I was at the nurses station, filling in a patients chart when I overheard the nurses speaking about him. 

'Have you heard about Shepherd?'

Have you heard about Shepherd? Have you heard what about Shepherd? I was puzzled for the whole next 3 hours then I stepped into an elevator. Dreaded elevators. The first time I had seen him in all this time. I was going to say something, when she walked in.