Do you take thee...?

No Regrets.

'I didn't expect to see you here.' Came from the voice of the person stood before us. I was absolutely mortified at the thought of his fiancé having possibly seen us connect in a way that could only be thought as as a dream. except for us it was reality. And it was reality that the thought of my boyfriend and his fiancé hadn't even skimmed my mind once in the elevator. I had no had a care in the world for them because at the moment I was exactly where I wanted to be. But as soon as I caught a glimpse of her face, I instantly regretted what I did and I so wish I didn't. But the truth was her was getting engaged to a woman who had no knowledge of what had just happened and what had happened before her. She was lovely and she didn't deserve to have her love taken away from her. 

Mei walked in the lift and stood dead centre in the middle of me and Derek. 

'I got to bed and laid my head down and as soon as I did, I got a page for a emergency appendectomy on a 7 year old kid. I wasn't gonna let anyone else do it but it's safe to say I'm exhausted. Can you get me a coffee please if you're going past that way?' 

'I er-erm, I'm not sorry sweetie. I have to go prep for a surgery.' She was checking her pager and picking something out of her bag as she and he said all these. As he lied back to her knowing that we were going to have breakfast together, he was looking at me with eyes that were still filled with lust and like he wanted more of what we just had. The squint in his eyes because of his cheeky but subtle grin, showed and filled my heart with love. I quickly flew my eyes away from his as Jennifer looked up to me and asked,

'I suppose you're scrubbing in with Dr Shepherd?'

'I am yes. One of my first ever neuro surgeries. It's safe to say I'm nervous.'

The truth was, I wasn't nervous about scrubbing in or a brain surgery. I was shitting it that I had to stand next to Derek for 10+ hours and not be allowed one bit of touch or flirting because everyone that would be in the OR knew he was engaged to one of their favourite surgeons and who was I? An intern? Yes, an intern that was dating another surgeon that they loved. 

The rest of he journey in the elevator passed with us all getting of at the same floor but walking different ways. Derek and I walked left and Mei to the right. They gave each other a small goodbye kiss before they went their separate ways and we began walking. Once we were in the corridor unoccupied and desolate, which wasn't normal for this space, he flirtatiously bumped into the side of me knocking me slightly over since I was tiny, he would say, and wasn't expecting it. We just looked at each other with smiles almost as if we had been together this whole time and our lives weren't a whole complicated mess which is what they were exactly. I was exactly correct when I said we probably wouldn't talk about the situation that happened after our accident and I really don't know why I was so worried because he didn't hear me anyways so why would he bring it up. He had made the most delicious pancakes and made so many that I actually was able to take more home for whenever I felt like having a piece of him. We finished off after having a peaceful, stress free conversation about all sorts, food, music, surgery. I thanked him of feeding me and as I did he made subtle hints like when he said ' I wish I could do it every morning' which only made me cry inside knowing that was never going to happen. I decided to enjoy the moments we had together whilst we could knowing that after this they would probably not happen again. Derek and Mei were getting married in less than 4 weeks and that broke my heart every time I was reminded.

We both got up from our chairs and started to walk out of the door to go and to pre-ops and as we got to the door I felt this tingling sensation spiral down my spine. He had brought his hand up and placed it onto my back as if to guide me out of the door in which he was being a gentleman and opening it for me. It didn't stop there though. He slid his hand around my back just enough so that his fingers were tucked underneath my arm and he was in contact with my side boob. He wasn't invading my space and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. His touch was soothing and I longed for more of it but as I lifted my head up from tilting it back into his shoulder, we carried on walking and did our own thing.

'See you later then Dr Grey.' He said cheekily as we both strolled to our destinations. I faced the way I was walking and just giggled in my head. What we were doing was wrong. So very wrong but I didn't hate it not right at this moment. I knew how to handle consequences and that knowledge persuaded me to keep this flirtatious moment going for as long as it could. I already missed the smell of his aftershave and the warmth of his presence. The scheduled surgery couldn't have come quick enough. The whole time I was rounding, I was thinking about Derek when I wasn't thinking about my patients. There was no more Mei in the hospital since her surgery was ongoing and we would be in the OR before she finished. Forbes was at home but was coming back in the late evening. There were going to be no more interruptions. 

Hours had passed and I made my way to the scrub room to be greeted by a smile behind a mask. His eyes glowed and made me excited for our time together even though we were restricted of any intimacy. I was still appreciative that I had been put on his service. As I was scrubbing and he had already gone into the OR to talk to the patient, I reminisced on the moments I had where I was feeling so anxious about being in his presence and how I had regretted what I had said to him after the accident. Now I wanted nothing more than to be with him even if it was just in the OR. I finished scrubbing, held my hands up ready to be gowned, and listened to him speak those 7 magical words that brought serenity and comfort to everyone surrounding him. 

'It's a beautiful day to save lives.'

Well now the sexual tension between us had sky rocketed. He glared with lust and and affection in my green eyes that re-gifted the same emotions and we began the surgery. Something was bound to happen even if it wasn't meant to.