Do you take thee...?

Anything Can Happen

MEREDITH'S POV

I was haunted by the thoughts of the white dress and the chapel bells that were going to be played at their wedding. Haunted by the thought of them agreeing to spend the rest of the lives together. The words 'I do' would forever be a burden in my life. I had climbed back into bed with the assistance of Marcus, who remained by my side for the rest of the evening. I was purely exhausted with every bone and muscles and inch of my skin burning and aching but I did not regret putting myself through this pain both emotionally and physically. I had those wonderful moments with Derek that I wanted to cherish for as long as I could. I dismissed anything that happened after we connected although I hated every minute after and still. How could I be so angry at him yet find him so admirable at the same time? Confusion encased me and and the adrenaline began to wear off. I was barely able to keep my eyes open but Forbes was still there. I laid still, paralysed by pain, praying that he would be called into a surgery. No pager. No emergency surgery. I swear he had told everybody not to contact him. Which in someway comforted me even though I wanted to be alone. Or with Derek. It meant someone actually cared for me and he had sacrificed his job for me. He didn't have plans of marrying someone else or running away. Maybe this was a good thing, that he was in my life right at this moment. Maybe it was meant to be. As he was talking to me about all sorts, surgeries, alcohol, cars, which definitely shouldn't be done or used at the same time, I turned my head from the wall and at looked at him. He was so passionate about everything he was saying. And then he started the dreaded conversation, where I wished I had kept my head facing the wall.

'Meredith, we haven't known each other very long and you're an intern and I'm an attending, which shouldn't normally happen but I don't see why this wouldn't work. You and me. Together. We get on like a house on fire and you are the most beautiful woman inside and out. You honestly light up any room and you make me a better person.' My heart was racing at his words, contemplating the decision. As much as I didn't think that it was the right place or the right time to be saying this, maybe it was meant to happen. 

'Meredith, would you want to be my girlfriend or is it too much? I understand if you don't want to, we can just take it slow if you like.' 

His respect and charm that he had for me, asking me and not just assuming, and understanding me by knowing that I might not want to, made my heart fill with appreciation. But then my mind travelled back to Derek. Who still lay so helpless and who had nearly died at thought of me just leaving the room and leaving him alone. I had never had so many thoughts in my head at once. Not even when I was taking my medical exams.

'Ok, I would like that. We're good together.' I replied back to his offer. At that point I didn't feel any remorse. Mei and Derek we're getting married and there was no coming back from that. Not when Mei was who she was, the person to fight for anything she wants and she would get it. And I nearly killed him. I nearly killed us both. My undying love was not clear to him. He wasn't conscious when I had poured my heart and soul onto him, which made my decision so much easier. I didn't have to explain my love for him and why he should spend the rest of his life with me and not her. No doubt it would kill us both. I was never one for the easier option but this time there was only the easy option available.

He leant up to me whilst grabbing my hand as security and placed a passionate kiss onto my lips before stroking my forehead and hair until I fell asleep, which didn't take long.

It had been 6 weeks since the accident and it was the night before I was due to start work again. The excitement was overbearing and Marcus had promised me a surgery for when I returned. 

We were going great and he was the most caring person, he kept an eye on me 24/7 which became frustrating sometimes but I couldn't exactly be mad at him. He'd drop by my house whenever he was free and bring me a sandwich every lunch from the canteen. He couldn't have been more of a gentleman. I wasn't in love. Not with him. But I had to reassure myself I would get there soon because every single one of my dreams were occupied by me and Derek and a dog and a house. A family. I couldn't stop thinking about him and I knew why obviously. I was trying everything in my path to not think about him and move on like he had from me. I even changed my pillowcases on my cushion that were on the sofa since we had, many times, cuddled on them and been wrapped up warm in each others arms. We had fallen asleep with my head rested on his shoulder and his head rested on mine, with our legs intertwined and our hands weaved in each others. These were the dreams I had every night since the accident even the night that Marcus had asked me to be his girlfriend. Marcus had respected me and since there had been no signs or indicators that I wanted to have sex with him, he hadn't pushed himself onto me. I had the bed and the night to myself as Marcus was at the hospital and I closed my eyes and I dreamt once again of us. 

The morning arrived. I got dressed. Brushed my teeth. Been very close to throwing up at the thought of probably seeing Derek again since it was his first day back too. Being surgeons, our paths would probably cross and the thing that made me most anxious was the fact that both Forbes and Mei had been on night shifts. Once we got there, they would be gone meaning anything could happen...