Born To Be

13| Seek

Chapter 13: Seek (Evelyn's POV)

He walked in, closing the door and taking a seat beside me. I sighed, fiddling with my earring before pulling my hands down to my lap. 

"I have already told you this once, I just feel the need to say it again, I cannot marry you," I said. 

He nodded slowly, "You have told me this but you haven't told me why. Can I ask?" he questioned. 

"Before I answer that, can you just tell me when you're planning to get married?" 

"By the end of this year." 

I nodded in understanding. "It's too important for me to love someone to marry them. And I don't..." 

"See yourself loving me?" 

"Not necessarily, I just don't..." I huffed. "I don't know you. I don't think I can know you enough this soon to fall in love with you. Am I making sense?" 

"Kind of?" 

I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. "It takes time to love someone. And to be loved by someone. I don't think the time you're giving me is enough." 

He looked at me for a minute before talking. "And why isn't it enough?" 

"You think a year is enough to love somebody?" 

"Yes, I do." 

I stared at him in confusion. "You do?" 

He nodded. "Is it not? I've never loved anybody in that way. I wouldn't know. But I don't reckon it would take more than a year to realize it if I did," he explained slowly. 

I stared at the ground in confusion. 

"Did it take you a year to say it to Lucas? Wait, have you said it to Lucas?" 

"Yeah," I mumbled, scratching my head. 

Have I been wrong about love my whole life? He seems like he would know more than me. 

"It took you a year to realize it?" 

"It took me a year to feel it," I said, turning to him. 

He stared at me, utterly confused. 

Oh my God, did I even love him? 

"Stop, you're changing the subject!" I clicked my tongue in frustration. 

He put his hands up in surrender. 

"It's really important for love to be part of the marriage for me." 

He hesitated to ask me his next question. "You wouldn't ever marry someone as a compromise?" 

I shook my head. 

"Why is love so important to you? I mean..." he trailed off with a small shrug. 

"I haven't had much of it," I chuckled, pulling my legs up on the bed and scooting back. 

"I haven't been in more than one relationship either," he nodded. 

"No, not just romantically. Just... generally," I mumbled. 

"Really? From what I hear, everybody loves you," he said, shooting me a pointed look. 

"Yeah, well... my parents didn't show it much for a long time." I sat against the headboard and crossed my legs, putting a pillow in my lap. 

He lay down on his side, propping his head up in his hand, resting his elbow on the bed, all ears. 

"I wasn't very good in school, never knew what the hell I wanted to do, I wasn't doing much for myself. But when I started working at Cherie, which I was forced to do. I just had to do something, that seemed easiest. I brought a lot of clients and customers. Everyone thought I was very nice, I know a little about styling so I was always able to suggest the best.