Under the influence

Girl in the mirror

I used to be under the Illusion that I knew the girl staring back at me softly in the mirror. This version of me is different , she stares back at me In a state of fragility that glows vividly in those chocolate brown eyes. I feel her in the confines of my skin , I feel the seeds of her expression burning at the flesh on my bone , waiting to be set free and explored.

I feel her as tears spill from these sockets , as the water drains out from the ocean I once would have called my pain. I feel her as my features soften and transforms into this young woman looking so dangerously similar to the memories of my mother. I feel her in a state of honesty , when I pick up a pen and begin to write music that represents the truest form of who I've been now in the present along with the girl I used to be in the past.

She is changing , and some days it might not always be for the best. Some days she is intoxicated by trauma , some days she is blinded by a state of pure and utter hurt. Some days she lays slumped on the wall of her bedroom , influenced by the use of substances , the one's she uses to numb out the ache. She is imperfect , she is beauty wrapped up into chaos and magnificent in all the right and wrong ways.

She cannot do this alone , there are some parts of the heart that can only be healed by being seen and being touched. She needs to tremble , for some mysteries only come together when things fall apart. This girl in the mirror , she is trying ,and that is all I could ever bring myself to ask.

-Liyah Smith