Under the influence

Consequently

You're not even sorry ,but I wholeheartedly forgive you. There are things which I am clueless to , signals that I ignore when I take coverage into myself.

I will never know unless you tell me , you should have told me , you should have fought harder for me. I remember the first night I spent in your bed , I remember the way your thick thighs felt underneath my fingertips and how your breaths flowed smoothly and heavily caressing the skin on my face. I remember how you tangled our limbs and how we spoke until the morning showed itself in the crack of dawn. We were a complete disaster , we were so satisfying in the moment.

Conveniently you cannot seem to recall the reasons why I pushed you away , and now you're the victim to the villain called my love and I'm here left to carry the weight of supposedly breaking your heart. You were in love with me , we both knew it and to some extent a part of me was in love with you too. How could I not be?

Do you remember the first time we saw each other naked? I was so shy , slipping off my underwear , revealing my most vulnerable parts to you. We spent nights awake with me dealing out the shattered shards of my heart to you.There were so many secrets that I told , things that made my heart drop into my chest and tears spill from my eyes.

How dare you say that I didn't love you right? I loved you even before I taught myself how to love me! But there is no part of me that regrets us. You healed a part of me and for that I am grateful.  I forgive you for the ending , I hope you can forgive me too.

            
                         -Liyah Smith