Selenophilia

Forty Six

I was pulled aggressively like I weighed nothing. I couldn't do anything but follow where I was pulled. Out the door, down the stairs and out the house. They stopped outside to decide what they would do to me.

It was as if they were doing it on purpose. They want me to hear what they would want to do to me.

Burn me? Bury me alive? Throw me at an endless pit as a sacrifice to ask forgiveness to the heavens? Let me rot in jail?

Decisions were thrown back and forth, each with a gory end, each ending up with me dying. It would be a lie to say that I was failing to try not to show any emotions despite feeling frightened and alone.

Abandoned.

I could hear people's voices like a close whisper to my ear. Their words were  piercing  my heart as I desperately try to drown it out. How could I though? They were a mob filled with angry exclaims on how I was a murderer, on how I had almost killed Marielle by almost thrusting a knife towards all her hearts. People are grateful that she didn't die.

But I couldn't even find myself to be grateful for it though.

How could I?

Marielle was almost killed. Was that something to be grateful of? Are people grateful that Marielle almost died right?

I couldn't even begin to panic. I was too in shock to even start a reaction. But I was mad. That is the only feeling I could feel at the moment. Maybe even wrathful.

From the corner of my eyes, I found Liam crying a river as people around him were comforting him like he had been the one to experience the heart dropping scene where blood was splattered across the floor with a dead looking Marielle stare right through your soul like she was communicating with it, like she was asking for help but you couldn't give it to her.

Has he experienced the feeling of desperation? Of the sudden heart wrenching hurt at seeing a person you consider a family that you love with all your heart to the point that you'll ask the heavens if you could trade places with that person who have almost died? Has he experienced that? That pain? That hurt?

Has he experienced his family hating him in a small amount of time for something that he didn't do?

My family had abandoned me like this. Isn't that funny? They were so used to asking me things because they wanted to help in some way or another knowing that I was so used to being independent and alone to ask for it.

And look how the table have turned.

I needed them but where are they? I need a should to cry on, where are they? I need someone to comfort me, where are they? I need a fucking family now, I need them, I don't care if they turn into a sap because I need them as a twelve years old, I need them as a kid asking for her family but where the fuck are they? Where the fuck is my family?

Was my family this easily swayed to the point where their trust on me has swayed as well?

And here I thought that family was this safe haven where you could run into their arms without thinking that they would push you away.

This pain, I will carry, this tears, I will cry, this sadness, I will haul, this family, I will bury.

Liam didn't experience that, did he?

Did he?

"I-I was so worried that I had to look because deep inside me, I knew something wasn't right. That something in this demonic child—" He shouted that insult while pointing at me, his eyes filled with the same wrath that I was also feeling. "W-Would do something like this at my very special day... I couldn't  believe it at first."