Glader Girl (A Maze Runner Fanfiction)

Chapter 15 - Please Be Okay

"Clarissa you have to eat" Gally scowled down at me.

"I'm not hungry." I shifted my eyes into focus.

"You haven't been hungry for two weeks. Look I know something is up and you don't have to tell me, I understand but you have to eat."

This is how the majority of our conversations have been going lately. I've barely seen Newt at all since I broke up with him and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. It kills me not to see him everyday, not to talk to him or touch him. But whenever I do see him he looks so sad and so broken. I've been nowhere near him but I know he hasn't been sleeping, the circles under his eyes take up his whole face. And I know it's all my fault, I cause so much pain to anyone I let close to me. I look up at Gally, I wonder what I'm going to end up doing to him? Maybe stab him in the back? Oh or maybe I'll be the reason for his banishing. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Might as well be nice to him while he still likes me right?

I bring my sand which to my lips I take a shaky bite and smile weakly at Gally.

"Thank you." He breathes.

"Clint! Clint!" Harry comes running to the tables. "Clint it's bad, it's Newt."

I felt the blood drain from my face. I shot my head in the direction Harry was coming from. The west maze opening. I stood up and ran as quickly as I could to the crowd of people by the opening. 

What happened? Is he okay? Is he alive?

"Ben what's happening?" My whole body was shaking and I was about to break down and cry.

"It's Newt, he's badly hurt." I could hear the fear in his voice. 

"W-w-what happened?" 

"I don't know." His eyebrows creased "He's still in there, Alby and Minho went back in to get him." I didn't need to hear another word, without a second glance at Ben I sprinted into the maze. I knew I would get in trouble, possibly banished. But I didn't care, I needed to see him, I needed him to be okay. I followed the sounds of Minho and Alby's voices. After many twists and turns I found them. Each of Newt's arms were draped over Alby and Minho's shoulders. His feet were dragging against the ground and his head was lulled forward. I stopped in my tracks, is he alive?

"Clarissa." Alby growled "What are you doing here?" He was mad but I didn't care, all my thoughts were on Newt. 

"Get the shuck out of the way!" Minho said forcefully. I snapped back into reality and stepped aside, allowing them to pass. They quickly shuffled passed me and I followed close behind. I couldn't hold it back anymore, tears were freely falling down my face and onto the cold ground of the maze. 

My thoughts were back to Newt and only Newt, I didn't even notice we had gotten out of the maze until Ben had called my name. His hands were on my shoulders and he was stopping me from following Alby and Minho.

"Ben." I glared at him "What are you doing?"

"Alby doesn't want you up there until he's stable."

"He can't do that!" I exclaimed, tears falling harder than ever, soaking everything around me. "I'm a Med-jack! I can help Newt! I have to help him." 

I collapsed on Ben, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder. 

"Why? Why?" I repeated this word over and over until I must've fallen asleep. I woke up on a patch of grass, Alby sitting next to me staring blankly at the maze walls. 

"Good morning." I stretched and rubbed my eyes. I forgot about Newt for all of five seconds until it all came crashing down again.

"How's Newt?" I demanded. Alby turned his head to look at me. He looked tired, like he had stayed up all night.

"He hasn't woken up yet but Clint is pretty sure he'll be okay."

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Can I see him?" 

Alby answered with a nod of his head. I immediately shot up and stalked to the med-jack building. I rushed up the stairs where I was immediately directed to a room by Charlie.  

I opened the wooden door and there he was. He was asleep,  he looked better now than he had in weeks. He was still pale as snow and the dark circles under his eyes were still prominent but his expression he looked at peace. I guess he could forget about me, about what I did to him when he was asleep. 

Maybe I shouldn't even be here, what if he wakes up and he doesn't want to see me? I can't watch the calmness of his face wash away into hurt, I can't it would kill me. I grabbed my face with my hands and closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry. I betrayed my conscious and I dropped to the ground, my knees tightly pressed against my torso. I was unable to move, my body wouldn't let me. Newt would have to see me when he woke up against both of our wishes. 

I don't know how long I was on the floor for but it must have been hours. When my brain was functioning properly I forced myself to my feet. With stiff legs I made my way to the side of his bed. I dared to let a shaky hand touch his face. He was cold, so cold. I wanted to throw my body on his and give him my body heat. 

"Newt." My voice was barely a whisper "Newt, please be okay. I love you." I said it out loud. As if those words were magic, maybe they were. I felt him lean into my hand then within a second his eyes popped open.

"Newt! Oh Newt you're okay!" Forgetting everything else I jumped onto him. Tears of happiness soaking his shirt. He brought an arm around my waist and held me to him. We stayed there, inhaling each other. I brought my head up from his chest to look at him.

"I should get Clint." He tightened his grip on me.

"No don't" His wonderful, beautiful, working voice croaked. "I just want to be with you for a while." 

I didn't object. 

"What happened?" I asked "Nobody will tell me anything." 

He gave me a long stare before saying

"I jumped."