Glader Girl (A Maze Runner Fanfiction)

Chapter 7 - All My Fault

I've been in the pit for the past 24 hours because of skipping off on work. Newt didn't come visit me once. Sig physically couldn't come so the only human interaction I had was when Minho and Ben came to make fun of me and when Gally brought me food one time. I couldn't understand why Newt was avoiding me. We almost kissed in the forest, well I thought he was leaning in too, maybe it was just me. It was probably just me. Newt just wants us to be friends. 

"Friends would come visit you while you're in jail." My annoying subconscious reminds me. Maybe he got tired of all the trouble I cause, I don't blame him. I don't know why anyone talks to me, I wouldn't if I was someone else.

Whenever I was left alone all these bad thoughts like this come to mind. I try to stop them but they keep coming. I refuse to let myself cry, not here where I have no privacy. I backed into the corner of the pit. My body was shaking, begging me to let the tears fall, I didn't give in. Sweat was dripping off my convulsing body. I needed to get out of here. I wasn't talking about the pit, I meant the glade itself. I felt so trapped, so alone. My subconscious convinced me that I was ruining everything for the other gladers, the second I got out of this box I would run to the maze and wouldn't return. Nobody would care anyways.

I was alone, thinking scary, terrible thoughts like these for at least a couple hours, when there was a commotion to my left. I think every glader must have been there. Alby was leading the way with three well built guys behind him, Ben included, who were pushing along three other gladers. The others following behind all carrying tall sticks. They were walking towards the west opening of the maze. I rushed to the edge of the pit to get a better view of what was going on. My breath caught in my throat. The three boys were surrounded by the other gladers, being cornered into the maze. I recognized one as James and I assumed the other two were the boys who had beat up Sig. The doors of the maze were starting to close. My eyes widened. The boys with the wooden poles started to inch forwards, they were going to force them into the maze. I forced myself to look away. I desperately wanted to break out of the bars and stop all of this from happening but I knew it would do nothing. I coward in the corner until I heard the maze doors slam closed. I forced myself to look up, the boys were left in the maze. Just sent to their death. This was all my fault. Sig didn't want to say anything but I told Alby, it was all me.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air and my head was spinning. I dropped to the ground and put my head in between my knees, shaking like crazy. But I still wasn't crying. I didn't even feel like crying, I just felt empty. Who even am I? I must be really messed up. I just killed three boys and I don't even care enough to cry about it. Part of me is even still happy that justice was brought to Sig. 

"Alby open the bloody gate!" Newt was thrashing against the bars of the pit. I didn't even realize he was here, how long has he been here for? He had fear written all over his face so I'm assuming he saw my whole meltdown. My eyes met his and already I felt some of my self hate fade away. The gate swung open and he jumped down into the pit with me. Next thing I knew, Newt's arms were around my body.

"Clara?" He asked. I couldn't speak "Clary are you okay?" His voice was urgent, and he spoke quickly.

"It's all my fault." I said quietly. "I killed them."

"No. No you didn't" He said breathlessly "They did this to themselves, they hurt Sig."

I didn't say anything and neither did he. We just sat there, in each others arms for a while.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said truthfully.