I freaking love this. The plot, the characters, the concept just amazing. I can tell how much effort you've put into this and you nail everything down to small detail (like how people say 'come on, man' you used woman). I love the attention to detail and ho well you swapped the roles. I especially love how alpha Alexandra is :)
You have a lot of interaction with your readers too!
I am going to keep reading so look forward to my comments ❤
I also love the switch between POV.
I also like how you took the popular cliche of a rich man who falls for a relatively normal girl with the guy sexually fired up and the girl more shy and revered the roles.
Improvements:
Not much to be honest
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Your writing style is great – really flows well and you have a great grasp of grammar and punctuation (don’t forget full stops at the end of your sentences!). I enjoyed all the plot set-up and characters in this story – I think you’ve started to weave a mysterious trail that Niv is going to follow and find herself in all kinds of interesting situations. I thought you did the set up well and the story flowed well. Room for improvement are minor – just fix some typos in the description and if you use numbers, make sure to spell them out. I did have a question around Prof David being a PhD student as I don’t think you can be a Professor until you’ve finished your PhD – and you get a Doctorate from a PhD and then become a Professor from further research - at least in Australia anyway! So ignore me if this is different from your knowledge – it was the one thing that pulled me out of the story – and so minor! Otherwise you’ve obviously got a great handle on science and life at university in a science lab and a love for mystery and intrigue – and some light-hearted romance too. Really enjoyed this – and it’s such a refreshing story to read on Wattpad – unique and well written. Great work!
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I thought this was a really sweet story that showed hints of both humour and a little darkness as well – based on the description. I like the banter between the two friends at the start and Crimson’s insecurity combined with her plucky personality – standing up for her friend. The writing style was smooth and moved the pace along really quickly – and nothing jolted me out of the story. Room for improvement in punctuation more than anything else – for example, make sure you close out a quotation with a full stop not a comma. And perhaps use the technique of ‘show not tell’ in some parts to keep the pace up. Really great work!
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