1996 - ginny weasley

chapter 17

I was so taken aback, the world started to collapse over my head. 

This is a dream. This is not real. This is a dream. She isn't there.

I took my other hand and pinched my skin. Nope. It was real. 

"I just came to give you some of the stuff you left at my dorm," Ginny whispered, dropping my hand almost instantly after I turned around. She wouldn't even look at me. She couldn't look into my eyes because I broke her heart.

"Can you please just look at me, I want to talk to you for a minute," I begged. She ignored me, handing me a box with a shirt, a toothbrush, and a small jewelry box.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," she said quietly, quickly rounding the corner to enter the Gryffindor dorms.

I stood there, frozen. For a few minutes, I just waited.

You're letting her slip away. Don't waste this opportunity.

I ran into the common room, and up the spiral staircase. Looking frantically for the door to her room. Sixth year. I found it. 

I twisted the door handle, but it was locked. I rattled it furiously. 

"Let me in Ginny. You can't ignore me like this forever! You can't do this to me! I didn't mean to kiss him. You will never be able to understand what went through my head after he kissed me, Ginny. Please just open the door," I pleaded.

No response. I could feel myself shaking, I didn't even recognize myself.

"PLEASE JUST OPEN THE DOOR!" I screamed.

Still no answer. I decided to just start talking.

"I can't let you go, Ginny. I can't let you leave again. I don't recognize myself, I don't recognize anything."

The world was closing in on me again. Every time I flashed back to her leaving as I screamed her name I stopped breathing. This time it was worse than it had ever been. I fell to the ground, clawing at my throat. 

She doesn't love you. You broke her heart. She will never forgive you.

The voices were back. I looked up, my vision blurry as I gasped for air. The door suddenly opening, Ginny screaming for help. Everything went black.

I woke up in the infirmary, drowsily looking around in confusion. It was empty, except for bottles clattering which I assumed was Madam Pomfrey treating the other patients. She must have heard me rustling around in the cot because she came over.

"I see you've finally woken up dear. It's been almost a whole day. Let me grab you some lemon tea." 

"What happened?" I asked, noticing my arm was connected to a tube. That tube was connected to a bag, seeping fluids into my arm. What the hell was going on?

"You had a nervous breakdown, Miss Black. You have an anxiety disorder. I'm afraid it's something you can only manage, and not heal. It is of both magic and muggle worlds. I assume you haven't eaten in quite a beat, yes?" she explained, frantically running to and from the room to check on another student or tidy an empty cot. 

I realized that the pizza I was supposed to have in my dorm that night was the first thing I would've eaten in a couple of days. 

"You've had multiple visitors, but I turned them all away to make sure you could be awake to see them. I believe your mother passed through here with a small child. I let her in, she brought the flowers," Madam Pomfrey said, pointing to a vase of wildflowers on the table to the right of me. 

I was happy my mother came to visit with Dahlia, I was. But there was only one person I hoped had come through.

"Madam Pomfrey, did Miss Weasley happen to visit at all?" I asked hopefully.

"Multiple times she did, that one. I told her a few hours ago no coming back until you were awake. Should I call her down?"

"Yes please," I answered, my voice practically gone. Just sitting up drained all the energy out of me instantly. I lay back down, and minutes later Ginny ran in.

"Oh Vi, it was terrible. You were on the floor, I thought you were dead and I didn't know what to do I just started yelling. Are you okay?"

I hadn't realized her hand was tightly squeezing mine. All I wanted was for her to take me back.

"I'm alright, it's okay," I reassured her.  "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to let you know that I don't think we should be together for a while but I want to be your friend.  I want you to take time, I want to heal by myself, it's just better if we stay best friends like we used to be. I'm sorry, Violetta. I have to go."

Before I could even open my mouth to protest, she was gone. I didn't want to cry in front of Madam Pomfrey, so I hid my feelings the best I could. 

"May I let more visitors in?" Madam asked from across the room.

"Sure," I said, shifting onto my side so I could see the door open.  I hoped it was Luna or Pansy. I needed a real friend to talk to right now.

But the boy who walked in was not one of my friends. It was Cedric.