"A Sanctuary Safe and Strong"(Marianas Trench)

Chapter 29

Once he was back inside the studio, he strolled into his office, pulling the pen, money and bottle cap out of his pocket. He dropped the pen onto the desk and tucked the latter two items into his bag. Now that the project which held top priority was done, he wandered through each room, checking to make sure everything was exactly as he'd left it the last time he was there. The singer wasn't nearly as paranoid at the studio as he should have been, could have been, but it didn't hurt to be wary and a little cautious. Then again, that's exactly what had gotten him into this whole fucking mess in the first place. 

"And...I'm done with that," Josh quickly admitted to the guitars that hung on the wall, vetoing the idea of checking the remaining two rooms for anything out of the norm. The only problem was that the searching had only kept him busy for the moment. Now that he'd decided he'd rather not chance it, fuck, there was nothing to do. The blond couldn't be the musician he wanted to be, because he couldn't write with his arm in a sling. He couldn't play a single instrument with just one hand, but he also couldn't just sit and stare at the wall.  

He did, however, need to find something to do for the next four hours until the rest of the band was scheduled to arrive. Josh supposed that he could selfishly call them in early, but he hated to do that to them. It wasn't fair of him to ask the guys to drop everything just because he was bored to death and pacing through the place looking for anything he could do to pass the time. Besides, that would mean making up some story about why he wanted everyone to show up half a day earlier than planned when there was no real emergency and no honest-to-God reason why they should be there. And the last thing he wanted to do was concoct another spindle on the spiderweb of lies he'd been weaving about all of this shit. 

Eventually, the singer settled on sitting down at the table in the control room with his laptop open. He sat facing the blank screen of a familiar social media site, wondering if he should bother announcing his current situation to his fans. The band wasn't touring at present, so there was a good chance that no one outside of his personal circle would find out if he chose to keep quiet. The smart thing would probably be to keep my fuckin' mouth shut, he thought as he typed in the password slowly with his left pointer finger. He didn't want anything blown too out of proportion. But, since when was he that smart about things? 

"Don't ever let anyone tell you that getting shot doesn't hurt like a motherfucker," Josh typed out. He narrowed his eyes at the words for a full five minutes until he erased them and tried again. That would draw in a shitload of inquiries he didn't want to spend time answering, and he couldn't just leave people questioning those words.  

Trying again, he gave it another go. "Anyone out there know what a bullet feels like when it enters the human body? I do. #82 crossed off the bucket list." He shook his head, rolling his eyes at his inability to hit on something that worked. Neither of those updates seemed right. Too much information, not enough information...he didn't know. Either way, it just wasn't good enough. One more time. If the singer didn't nail it this round, he wouldn't say anything at all, he promised himself.  

"Who says it's only cats that have 9 lives? Used up another one last week. Down to 5. TOO much exciting shit. #Fuck." Yeah, that would do it. He pressed the 'enter' key and posted the vague status before sitting back and waiting for the questions to come rolling in, just like he knew they would. Josh just didn't know how or even if he would answer any of them. The public now knew all they needed to know. In fact, he didn't even have to tell them that much, but he'd always wanted to be truthful, even if he didn't share all the facts. 

As assumed, the responses came only seconds after he posted what he had to say. Most people questioned his intelligence, and probably rightly so. He was known for having more than a couple of "blond moments" in his time, earning him a bit of a reputation. "What stupid thing did you get yourself into now, @JoshRamsay?" Josh had to laugh at that one. He knew he occasionally did some pretty reckless shit in his life, and they weren't his smartest decisions or best choices. He seemed to be drawn to a bit of danger, feeling like he'd already beaten death more than once. It was familiar territory and it was where he felt comfortable living. So, naturally when he pulled some ridiculously stupid bullshit move, he usually let the fans in on it to laugh at his expense. 

What the fans didn't know this time was that things were so much more serious than they'd ever expect. As much as Josh loved, appreciated and thrived on smartass comments, it unnerved him a little when some people could see through him, digging right into the exact meaning behind his sarcasm. Unfortunately, those were generally things he avoided answering because they hit a little too close to home.  

Luckily, this time around, no one was the wiser and everyone seemed to be assuming that he'd been up to his usual stunts. But, now that he'd said something, he felt that he had to at least confirm that he was..."fine".  

"Yeah," he replied with a blanket answer to one of the dozens of sincere responses asking if he was okay. "Just call it another Ramsay move." No, that wasn't true enough. It wasn't his fault he was hurt. 

"I'm fine. Another day in the life of me." No. That one held too many lies and both Matt and the official band account that Mike and Ian combined forces to run would see it and question it, or worse yet, they'd out him as not being honest. Josh immediately erased that to try again. 

Another 'third time's the charm' effort seemed good enough to put out there into the world. "Hey, I'm fuckin' me. No, I mean, I'm not fucking myself, I'm...me. Fuck." That settled that. Funny and vague, but at least it sounded like something everyone would expect him to say. 

So far, he was still alive and no one could deny that much even if they tried. "Good enough," he mumbled just as he saw Matt's response to his post.  

"@JoshRamsay- You're lucky you only lost one life." 

Then, less than a minute later, the drummer sent him a message from the band account. "@JoshRamsay - Asshat. Don't let that happen again! -Ian." 

Seconds later, one more response from the remaining member of the quartet appeared. "@JoshRamsay, @MattWebbMT - Don't worry, fans. He's ok. We hugged Josh and he felt the love. - Mike"  

Josh smirked, shutting off his laptop and closing it without bothering to further reply to their words. He knew Matt, Mike, and Ian well enough to know that they were just giving the fans a little more information to get them off his back and to tease him a little bit so that no one would assume any more than they were being told. He owed them for that. Once again, they played off one another perfectly and saved his sorry ass.