"A Sanctuary Safe and Strong"(Marianas Trench)

Chapter 30

"What the hell are you lookin' so smug about, Ramsay?" Ian's boots clomped heavily along the floor until he reached the table and dropped down next to Josh, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow, making the singer cringe and groan loudly. 

"Don't do that! Fuck, dude! That fuckin' hurts!!" Doubling over, he wrapped a protective arm around his chest, lightly putting a hand over the ribs that he had felt grind against themselves under Ian's touch. 

"Shit! Sorry, sorry. Shit! I really am sorry. I forgot!" The older man shoved his chair back and Josh felt the drummer studying him. 

Huffing through the pain, Josh squeezed his eyes closed tightly. "It's okay," pant, "just don't fuckin'," pant, "do it again or you'll kill me." The blond leaned his forehead down on his knees, curling his fingers into the soft fabric of his shirt. 

"Don't ever joke about that," Ian demanded. 

The singer inched his way upright, groaning quietly at the twinge that ripped back and forth across his chest. "I'm not joking, you dick. That really fuckin' hurt!" 

A serious look took the place of the worried one that had been on the drummer's face seconds earlier. "I said I was sorry!" Ian opened his mouth to take a breath, but was quickly interrupted. 

"What the fuck are you doing here anyway? You're not supposed to be here for another...-," Josh started to ask. 

"...seven minutes ago," Matt finished, appearing out of nowhere, followed closely by Mike. 

"What?" Josh stared up at the brunet, confused. He'd just gotten to the studio. Hadn't he? 

Matt pointed up at the clock on the wall to prove himself right. "It's after eight o'clock, man."  

Had he really just spent the last four and a half hours doing absolutely nothing of any significance? He posted two Twitter status updates and read through some fan questions, but Josh could hardly believe he'd been that lost in so little. "Oh..."  

Shrugging, the brunet tugged off his jacket and draped it across the back of his usual chair before sitting. "You guys ready to kick musical ass? I've got this great line for that one song we've been working on. And I think I have a decent guitar solo worked out."  

Matt sounded so excited that Josh had to drop his argument with Ian to hear the younger man out. "Well, let's get to it, dude. Show us what you came up with." 

Midnight came and went, and one o'clock in the morning had two of the four men yawning and all but falling asleep in their chairs. "Man, I have to get the hell outta here. I can't stay awake anymore. Josh, I don't know how you do this night after night," said Mike, yawning for the second time in as many minutes, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. 

Josh just laughed and shrugged a shoulder. "Practice makes perfect, dude. Sleep is for the weak, but I guess that's what happens when you're a day older than fuckin' dirt." 

"Yeah, well, this isn't something I wanna be perfect at, so I hafta get outta here. I have to get some sleep." The bass player stood, prompting the same moves from both Matt and Ian. 

A slight smile tugged at the singer's lips. "Have a good night, then," he said without moving. 

"You're not going home?" the drummer asked, staring down at the blond as he slipped into his jacket. 

Home...home... Josh fiddled with the guitar pick Matt had left on the table. It was white, unremarkable, cheap, disposable. For a minute, that was all he could focus his attention on until Ian pulled him back into the conversation. Just the thought made the blond a little light-headed. The room spun counter-clockwise briefly and he swallowed hard before answering. "Me? Um...nah. I'm gonna stay here a little longer. Get a little more work done and maybe clean out the fuckin' desk in my office. It's a fucking disaster and I can't find anything in there anymore." 

"Since when do you care about that?" Mike raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at the blond while he pulled the zipper of his jacket up to his chin. 

Since I was almost fuckin' killed and would now rather do almost anything than go home. "It's just something I've been meaning to do..."...for the last two minutes. 

"Well, if you get spooked by the ghosts that haunt this place at night, don't call me," Mike laughed. Josh didn't miss the glare that Matt threw at the bass player on his behalf. The idea of Josh being terrorized in the middle of the night wasn't a laughing matter to the brunet, nor was it especially funny to the blond. Truth be told, Mike probably hadn't even been thinking about the potential repercussions of the night the singer was injured when he'd spoken. He was just trying to keep the mood light, like older man probably assumed Josh would have wanted. But Matt knew how scared Josh truly was, knew that his ghosts were real, not something that could be created on a computer screen and made to emulate a cheesy movie from the nineteen eighties just for entertainment. 

The singer tried to brush off the words as he stood to walk the men out, set to lock up behind them. "Ha...ha. If that does happen, you'll be the first goddamn person I call just for that."  

"It is almost Halloween, ya know," Ian reminded him, wiggling his eyebrows as he followed Mike through the door and out to their respective cars. 

Well, fuck. As if he needed even more reminding of that, goddamn it. Josh gripped the doorknob to pull it toward him when a hand appeared on his arm. "Hey," Matt said quietly, glancing around to make sure the other two men were out of ear shot. "You doing okay, man? You seemed kinda out of it tonight." 

The singer sighed quietly, nodding his head so subtly that no one else could have seen. "Yeah... Yeah, I'm okay, dude. Gonna have to fuckin' trust me on that. Just go home and get some sleep." The singer kept his answer short and direct, but he was busy mentally kicking himself for lying to Matt again. This was exactly what he had said he wanted someone to do, word for word, motion for motion. The younger man was currently cornering him, asking him directly how he was, practically telling him that he knew Josh wasn't okay, and all Josh could do was throw his typical go-to answer at the guitar player. Yeah, he got what he deserved, alright. "I'll see you guys on Monday, so have a good weekend." 

"You're sure?" Matt questioned skeptically, narrowing his eyes briefly at the older man as he dropped his hand and stepped back. 

"Yeah..." Lie, lie, lie.  

Matt tucked his hands into his pockets and took another step back. "Okay, man, if you say so. I'm not gonna fight about it. I'll see ya. Call me if you need me, alright?" 

"Sure. Now get outta here. Have a good weekend and I'll see ya Monday." Josh shut the door and locked it before Matt could say another word. He stood and watched as the guitar player turned and shook his head, walking slowly across the parking lot to his car with his shoulders hunched. Mike and Ian had long gone, but watching Matt disappear into the shadows of the parking lot left the singer with the same slightly irrational eerie feeling that he was so sick of having. But at least he was in the studio where he knew he'd be fairly safe. He didn't want to go home at all. He could just hang out here all night if he wanted to.