"A Sanctuary Safe and Strong"(Marianas Trench)

Chapter 33

The blond kicked at the sign post within reach when he realized that his phone was still sitting on the couch back at the studio, right where he should be. Josh was officially fucked. Now he didn't know what to do to save himself. He couldn't get himself out of this. It was like this whole thing was a new rhythm that he didn't know, couldn't catch onto. One that was invented just to toy with his sanity. It was a backward dance, a waltz with the correct steps in a missing time signature. One, two, three, one, two, three. What scared him most was that he wasn't the one leading, and the partner he was involuntarily paired with seemed to have an affinity for trying to trip him up. 

Huffing, his breathing came out in wisps of steam that he could see in the cold. He really should have kept trying to get back to the studio, but he just couldn't force his body to cooperate with what he knew he needed to do. Instead, he gave up, sliding down the metal pole still against his back until he was sitting on his haunches, shoulders hunched and his free arm wrapped around his belly, trying to make himself as small as possible. Josh blew out another puff of air, watching as it twisted and curled, disappearing somewhere out over the street. 

"Hey, man, you okay?" A soft voice off to his right scared the shit out of him, dropping him down to the curb where he landed hard on his ass, his knees pulling tightly up against his chest, squeezing his arms forcefully against his ribs.  

"God! Jesus-fucking-Christ!" Josh gasped harshly. His voice came out much lower and grittier than normal, the words fading in and out as he spoke. He'd heard no one creep up on him and he couldn't believe that he'd let himself get so distracted by those goddamn metaphors he was continually creating in his head. 

The singer jerked his head around, looking for the body of the person who was stupid enough to risk a life by sneaking up on someone they didn't know like that. He caught the figure first out of the corner of his eye, sending ice cold panic through every artery, temporarily ceasing his breathing and, he was sure, the beating of his heart. The stranger was standing along the very edge of the ray of light the lamp overhead cast down onto the sidewalk. Those same fucking shadows that Josh had been so worried about before were now a true reality, hiding the face of the person he was now at the mercy of. 

He had to get up. He had to try to fight back this time. Get up, you asshole, get up! he mentally screamed as he struggled to untangle his limbs. Josh was unable to get to his feet at first, but after the second try, he pulled his left arm free, wrapped it around the pole and yanked himself up, groaning painfully as he bent over and braced his hand against his knee. Now that he was finally standing, he was left with no strength to battle, if it came down to that. "If you're gonna kill me," he panted, hating that he couldn't stop his voice from trembling, "then fuckin' do it. Just get it over with!" The will to fight someone that he already knew could drop him to the ground in less time than it took him to beg for his life wasn't there anymore either. He knew he couldn't win even if he tried, if for no other reason than the fact that he was already wounded too badly to do anything more than let fate have its way. Josh accepted defeat as the unidentifiable person standing no more than six feet away took a half step back into the darkness. 

"Ki...what? Kill...?" A pair of worn black sneakers moved into his line of vision as his potential attacker moved again, stepping up into the light. "Man, I don't wanna kill you. What the hell's wrong with you? Are you okay?" The voice repeating the question sounded confused, though sincere, but Josh had been through enough lately that he wouldn't, couldn't trust his instincts. 

Moaning loudly, the blond squeezed the denim fabric tightly in his hand, the biting sting of his ribs causing his eyes to tear. "Mug me, then?" he managed to ask through gritted teeth. "'Cause I gotta tell you, I don't have my wallet."